My life has intertangled with three people that there is barely a trace of me. I have become them, as it should, somewhat be.
We know we only have so much time to impart to our children, that time is valuable, we want to make the most of it all, so true, so true.
My personal struggle as a mom is I am ultra-selfish. I am passionate and whole hearted. I am easily led astray by great ideas that I want to bloom now while they are fresh on my mind. I have had to let go of my dreams in order to be a better mom, and somewhere in there, while I know it was the right thing to do, sometimes, a residue of resentment grows, as I get trapped in all or nothing.
How do I give myself whole-heartedly to this task of motherhood, maintain my marriage, and also maintain a sense of personal identity that causes my inner life to not feel like a smashed bug leaking my inside residue all over the pavement? I understand we lay down our lives for our children, but shouldn’t we pick up and maintain our lives for our children too?
I guess my question in a nutshell, if a rich, active inner self allows one to be a complete and better person, which would then spill over to all those roles we hold, how then is effectively done?
I totally related to her struggle.
A year and a half ago, I wrote this post. Life had gotten very busy. The personal time I used to have in the evenings had somehow vanished. I cared for my kids, cleaned my house and slept. And I was so not ok with that:
I feel like I’m hanging on to the very last thread of me.
And I can’t decide if it’s something I’m supposed to hang onto or not.
Part of me doesn’t want to be “just” a mom. I know that sounds horrible, but I’m just being honest here. I adore my kids, I love being a mom, I chose to be a stay at home mom and I wouldn’t do anything differently.
But part of me still wants to own a business. And run a marathon. And work in the music industry. And write an excellent blog. And change the world.
I daydream about attending conferences. I take my kids to the office supply store for fun. My brain is constantly barraged with various business ideas.
Right now, though, I’m called to be a mom. Full time. And more. Much more.
Motherhood and Identity.
This is what we’re talking about for the next week or so. I’d love to hear your stories, wisdom and struggles.
Do you have any advice for those trying to be the best mother they can be and still hold on to the person that will remain when the children leave?
Have you ever been there? Are you there?Leave a Comment