The Problem with Being Supermom and How To Fix It

By March 8, 2013Get Inspired

super-kid

I’ve finally realized why it is I try to be Supermom. It’s because I can’t decide what is most important so I just try to do it all…which is impossible and leaves me feeling defeated. Rinse. Repeat.

The root of my desire to do everything is actually indecisiveness. Weird, I know…but I think its true.

We MUST make hard decisions about what is most important and ignore the rest until that one thing is done. Obviously, we can tend to actual needs, but we must discern between needs and wants.

If I want to maximize my mornings, and I don’t have a habit of Bible reading, planning OR exercising — tackling all those at one time is a recipe for failure.

In the military, field hospitals must do something called triage. They need to make incredibly hard decisions about who they can direct their precious resources towards.

They decide who they cannot help and they must make a conscious effort to actually NOT help them because to do so would reduce the chances another might live. They have to leave other patients in pain if their injuries are not life threatening. They focus the bulk of their resources on those for whom they can make the biggest impact.

It’s time to triage your life.

Moms have a lot of responsibilities, but if asked, every mom has certain stated priorities. I imagine many of you would list your priorities like this:

1. Relationship with God
2. Relationship with husband
3. Relationship with children

I would make the same list, but it wasn’t until a few years ago that my actions actually began to reflect those priorities. When they started to align, it was a massive turning point in my life and I began transforming from who I was into who God made me to be. I have so far to go, but I have also come so far from where I was.

If you remember anything from this post, remember this:

We will run in endless circles until our actions align with our priorities.

Front line doctors MUST make their actions align with their priorities.

They may have to make brutally hard decisions. They might have powerful reasons and outside pressure, from patients, friends, family, to operate outside of their priorities, but if they don’t treat those whom they can help most, they will lose more patients than they save.

There will be great casualties for their lack of integrity.

As moms, we must live each day with the integrity of our word. We can always find an excuse to not do what we say is important to us, but we need to be braver than that.

We must either be willing to say, “No that is not actually a priority right now and I will not spend my time on it right now.” Or we must say, “Yes, that is priority right now and I will do everything within my power to make it happen. ”

Girl, it’s going to be uncomfortable, but comfort is overrated.

People will be disappointed, but the only approval you need is from the One who appointed you.

You’ll have to fight yourself and the excuses every single day, but you are a fighter. Get your game face on.

The only place to find our super power is on our knees.

Be brave and take action: What are you going to triage today? Tell me one thing you are demoting as a priority and one thing you are going to make happen. Click here to share.

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16 Comments

  • Avatar Ashley Stellhorn says:

    What an encouragement you are. I have a hard time being pulled in different directions and have to go back to my priorities. You have to fight for it, that is so true. Thank you for your blog. I get so much from your honesty and you sharing your walk with God! Thank you!

  • Wowzer. Super convicting post today! Hit me smack in the forehead, I tell you. I have been wrestling with this very issue and the Lord has been nudging me and nudging me. What I am going to Triage today (and moving forward) is making it so that I am NOT still working on the computer when my beautiful children arrive home from school. I will discipline myself to structure my time to get the PC work done during the school hours and be ultra-available for my children when they come home.

  • Avatar Erin says:

    This really speaks to me. I have the horrible human tendency to let the lesser good things crowd out the greater best things. I’ve already set goals for myself, on how I want my life to be more purposeful, but I’m going to use this post as a reminder to ask myself this question all throughout the day: “Is what I am doing right now truly going to satisfy me?” Oftentimes that will mean cancelling the urge to read just one more blog post or one more Pinterest page so I can clean and organize our home. But sometimes it will mean stopping the endless flow of chores so I can sit and read a good book or work on a sewing project. For me, triage is a moving target.

  • Avatar Melody says:

    Man…..what I probably need to do is force myself to be a morning person & wake up at 5am to do my bible study & exercise….as lately my bible study is done with my 3 year old in my lap & Curious George on in the background…..not ideal, but it’s the best I have been able to do as she’s been waking early (6am or so). I’ve also been putting work over my littles since they don’t have all day school & I can’t get everything done in the 2 hours I am alone….so I work when they are happily watching TV or playing a computer game….I have been trying to schedule outside or playtime away from the house as well, but other than that I am working……it’s frustrating. Because in the end I am stressed out because of all the work I have to do & didn’t get done, they are fighting & whining & by the time my husband gets home I just want to hand them off to him so I can work……

  • Avatar Beth says:

    Wow, I have a knot in my throat. Yes, I nee to do this and I’ve been realizing some of this little by little and working on it but you lay it out there in such plain text that its hard to ignore. Thanks for the push and encouragement, as always!

  • Avatar Heather says:

    this–> “People will be disappointed, but the only approval you need is from the One who appointed you.” needed that.

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  • Avatar Angela Smith says:

    OMG this is a GOOOD word! I am reading this as I lay in bed on this Saturday morning pondering what I should today. As a mom who works full-time, I want to be w/ my kids & hubby only on Saturdays!! But a friend is speaking at a ministry Conf & since I am a ministry leader I feel a tug to go to that! This scenario happens so often but I think learning to triage my life will bring greater purpose & intentionality to my life!

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  • Avatar Kendra says:

    I put off reading this post until today because I wanted time to absorb it. As mentioned in an earlier comment, this smacked me right between the eyes. I have been feeling everything spinning and spiraling up and down and left and right (and lots of times even sideways!!). The precious Holy Spirit has been nudging me toward the necessity of time in the Word that I am not taking time for right now. Thank you so much Kat for being an an amazing writer, encourager and truth-speaker. Bless you and what you are doing for overwhelmed, mixed up moms like me.

  • Avatar Heather says:

    Wow, how convicting and timely. This has been a personal struggle for me a lot lately. In fact, I just posted on my own blog about it yesterday http://fearfultofearless.blogspot.com/2013/03/there-are-no-supermoms.html . For me, the thing I’ve been feeling God nudge me about the most is that I need to make him a priority. I need to make a point of having time with God every morning, no matter what the chaos is around me (and chaos often ensues with three young children). Even if my ‘quiet time’ with God isn’t totally quiet, or perfectly focused and meditative, God will honor my efforts to make him a priority in my life.

  • So good! I need this reminder on a regular basis it seems. There are always so many “good” things to do! I also recently wrote about being okay with not being everything http://redeemingthehome.com/2013/03/07/ill-never-be-able-to-do-it-all-and-im-okay-with-that/ I’m beginning to realize that I don’t have to be everything…because my God is.

  • Avatar Rosanna says:

    So I get this, but what if I am so ovewhelmed that I don’t know where to start? For example, do I quit singing on the worship team, even though I believe I’m called to do that? I am overwhelmed simply with just the duties of being a Mom to 3 kids, driving to school everyday, being a wife, trying to find a brief moment to have a few friends, housework, renovating (which is ongoing forever), organizing, etc ,etc. Truthfully I am having a bad day and it will all look better tomorrow, but I still feel the tug in my spirit to let some stuff go. I just don’t know what stuff that is.

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