The 1 Person You Need To Unfriend in 2013

By January 4, 2013Get Inspired

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“Supposed to…”

So, I’m supposed to be training for a half marathon that I’m supposed to run in March. I say “supposed to” because my training isn’t going very well.

But…

I have some brilliant excuses. Here is my awesome excuse countdown:

6. Travel and sickness. My husband was out of town a lot this fall and he was sick several times…so I haven’t been able to into a good training rhythm.

5. I’m old. Working out actually feels like work these days.

4. I don’t have a treadmill so I have to run when it’s dark and cold.

3. Ugh. I don’t like running when it’s dark and cold.

2. I was sick. I can’t run when I have a sniffy nose. Obviously.

(drumroll)

1. But my best excuse of all is….I’ll do it tomorrow. I’ll get into a rhythm when my husband gets back. I’ll do my long run this weekend. I’ll work harder after the holidays.

My Mortal Enemy

I’ve made the fatal mistake of putting my trust in my future self.

Ah…my future self. She is amazing. I have an awfully high opinion of her. I seem to believe that she has much greater discipline, wisdom, self control and patience than this boring current version of my self.

So…Current Kat eats a few more cookies, confident that Future Kat will run a couple extra miles later. Current Kat stays up late, sure that Future Kat will go to bed early tomorrow.

In essence, I make intentional mistakes today trusting that future Kat will bear the burden of fixing them tomorrow. It’s awful, isn’t it?

A Modern Mirage

Here’s the problem: Future Kat is an untrustworthy flake. She is a poser, a mirage, a fairy tale. She never lives up to my expectations and consistently let’s me down.

It’s time for me to realize and admit that future Kat isn’t doing me any favors. It’s time to unfriend her.

Tomorrow’s Freedom is Today’s Surrender

The only moment of time that I am certain of is right now. I need to make decisions today that I will be proud of tomorrow.

“Tomorrows freedom is today’s surrender…” – I love this line from the All Sons and Daughters song “Dawn to Dusk.” Such rich truth.

Friends, let’s stop deferring our freedom. Let’s surrender our excuses today. In whatever area of your life you are placing hope in your future self, this is the day to say adios chica. And good riddance.

Do you ever find yourself putting too much stock in your future self? What is one area you need to start making changes today instead of tomorrow? Click here to comment!

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Comments

58 Comments

  • Julie says:

    Great post! I need to find my inner exerciser again! Also I am going to unplug more from media to dive in deeper to His Word and IRL relationships

  • Amy Lynne says:

    Love this! I am the queen of tomorrow! I have been slowly breaking this habit, but it’s not easy! Good luck to you as you kick her to the curb!

    • Kat Lee says:

      Amy Lynne,
      Oh, I hear you. It’s definitely not easy! I think it’s gotten harder as I’ve gotten older too. Sigh. πŸ™‚ Praying we are both able to stop relying on our future selves in 2013!

  • Kate says:

    Love this…To 2013 – the year of our Best Selves!

  • Kara says:

    Ohmygosh I needed this today.

    I still haven’t lost ten lbs from having my baby nine months ago… And I just read an article about kourtney kardashian losing 44 lbs in 6 months. So I’m beating myself up while making excuses at the same time.

    My biggest excuse? I’m tired and want the sweets so I “deserve” them.

    • Nancy says:

      Hello Kara, You haven’t asked for my advice, but I’m going to give it anyway, because I feel a “God-nudge” to do so. I’m 54 and have 2 grown children, so I speak from experience, and I am going to tell you what I would tell my own kids.
      Stop reading about celebrities, or at least take what you read with a grain of salt; most of them lead lives very different from yours and mine. Much of what their publicists put out there is probably not exactly true, anyway. Focus instead on inspiration from Kat and other women (on-line and in your own life) whose lives are centered on God. Even then, follow God’s path for YOU.
      Stop being so hard on yourself. Of course you are tired, you are the mother of a 9-month-old! Your body has done an amazing thing by giving life to your child. Maybe this is not the time to concentrate on your weight, but instead on being healthy. Ask God where your focus should be.
      I will pray for you.

      • Kara says:

        Nancy-

        I truly wish I could send you a hug! The kind with snotty tears… (sounds gross… but you know what I mean, right?) I am very grateful for your words. I wish you lived next door.

        Thank you πŸ™‚

    • Nancy says:

      You are welcome, Kara.
      For yummy low-fat recipes (including desserts/snacks), check out skinnytaste.com.

  • Kristen Zoeckler says:

    Kat, I LOVE this post. It’s amazing how often I’ve intentionally sabotaged my future self, but it took being called on it to realize my mistakes. I think I need to start viewing my future self as I view my children: someone who needs to be helped and nurtured by my actions instead of someone who will carry my weak current self. This resonated so deeply!

  • Tereasa says:

    Kat! This is exactly what I needed to hear today. Oh my, future Tereasa has pretended to be a friend of mine for far too long. You are so right, she is very untrustworthy.

  • Regina says:

    This totally spoke to me! I am the queen of procrastination. I have been paying for a gym membership for 2 years, and haven’t been there for 1 year and 11 months, because I’m convinced my future self is going to go next week! I am also going to quit smoking, so I better finish what’s left in this pack so I can start tomorrow. Do I really think I’m fooling myself? I am unfriending my future self and going to just take it day by day and make the best decisions I can for that day. Thanks!

  • Southern Gal says:

    Wow. I have never thought of it in those terms before. Convicting.

  • Touche! (missing the accent mark…) You know how to cut to the core don’t you. Now if I can discipline myself to move faster and more deliberately now, inspite of my terrific backache.

  • Lisa says:

    You hit the nail on the head, Kat! That is SO me! You gave me the much-needed push to quit thinking I’ll do it (and by “it” I mean: eating better, eating less, exercising, getting up early, praying, etc.) tomorrow, and “just do it.” Today. Thanks so much! Good-bye, future self!

  • Kristin says:

    Oh Kat, I feel like you read my mail! These are my exact struggles that I am dealing with right now from the marathon training to my ultimate nemesis COOKIES! πŸ™‚ I had never thought of my future self cleaning up the bad choices I make today, that is a truly ‘light bulb’ moment. I need to remind myself how good I feel when I jog, eat healthier, deligently read Gods word, and get the rest I need so I can be the wife and mother that I WANT to be. Thank you for your post this morning, this encourages to ditch the excuses and get today’s Kristin back on track.

  • Amy says:

    Oh my goodness! My future self is A-MAZ-ING!!! She is thin, with beautiful skin, a Mary Poppins mothering ability, and Betty Crocker’s kitchen art. She is faitful to God in prayer each day for hours and studies the Scriptures in Greek and Latin. My oh my…what a woman she is!!! (Most days I despise her). But…alas, you are right — she is a flake. And besides…who would want to be around a woman like her anyway:-) Onward to this moment…this day…this time…which reminds me….it is 11AM and my current self has not showered yet….sigh….reality bites! Thanks for the post and encouragment;-)

  • latoya says:

    This is sooo true for me. Great post!

  • Mel says:

    Kat, you nailed it. Goals- exercise regularly again, adding running.
    Regular disciplined language study. Regular, focused prayer time.

  • Brenda says:

    This is so unbelievably true. Thank you for your blog. This is my first one following and it was truly inspiring and needed. πŸ™‚ I’m working with the ebooks you wrote, and while I am not quite where I want to be, it has been so helpful… Thanks again.
    God Bless…

  • Shelli says:

    Good thoughts — I never realized I kept putting faith in my “future self” πŸ™‚

  • Lisa says:

    Thanks for another Inspiring post! I will be working on Maximizing my Mornings! None of us have all the answers but when will all come together to help each other it makes it a little easier! Thanks for taking your time to help us better our self’s as mothers but also point out there are others just like us!
    Have a wonderful day and God Bless you!!

  • Emily says:

    I need to stop putting my faith in Future Emily as well. Thanks for posting this — I really needed to read these words today.

  • Kathryn says:

    Hilarious and strikes eerily close to home. I am also training for a half marathon in March. I have never defriended anyone, but it might be time to let go of my future Kat(hryn). πŸ™‚

  • Amber says:

    I put some high expectations on my future self. Mostly getting really fit, having an awesome Bible study discipline, and immeasurable patience.

  • Sara says:

    I feel like you are in my brain! Of course you said it much better. I needed to read this. Thank you for the motivation!

  • Jen says:

    Kat, your post had me smiling because it spoke the truth of my present and future selves. And after reading all of the comments that others have left, I’m so glad I’m not alone! My focus word for this year is “intentionality” – it puts to rest procrastination and deferring to my future self. It applies to faithful Bible reading, eating well, exercising, being present in the moment, and pretty much anything else. I don’t want to wait for life to happen. I want to make life happen.

  • Cherie Werner says:

    Happy New Year Kat,

    I struggle with many of the same excuses.

    However, if you are old than I am ancient πŸ˜‰ and my body reminds me all the time of my limitations. My biggest barrier is “self” putting off till tomorrow which then becomes next year.

    So the one area that I commit to is daily is PT exercises to strengthen my back along with making wiser health choices i.e. intake of daily vitamins plus healthier food choices.

    I appreciated your insight as it provided motivation to put my goals on paper.

  • Alyson says:

    This post is great. I love your powerful perspective of our future selves! Thank you for always encouraging and sharing such great things. This blog has quickly become one of my favorites!

  • Lynette says:

    Wow. Inspired. This is my exact problem! I always leave to tomorrow what I could do today if I trusted my future self less. Planning for tomorrow is a great idea. It makes tomorrow easier to follow, at least for me. But using the plan as an excuse to do the easy thing today is just stupid. Thanks for clarifying this problem.

  • Laura says:

    I could have sworn you were in my head! I have said those very same words – tomorrow I will go to sleep earlier, tomorrow I will eat better, tomorrow I will read more, tomorrow I will…. I LOVED your post! Thank you!

  • Emily says:

    This is SOOOOO true! I’ve often fallen into the trap of thinking, I’ll eat healthier starting Monday, etc., and it never works! We are not guaranteed the future. All we have is today! This is a great reminder for the new year.

  • Summer says:

    Wow!! This was for me today.Im so guilty of trusting my future self πŸ™ this was very convicting Thank you I needed some truth today!

  • Patti says:

    Utterly brilliant post and a hearty YES to all of it! Especially “Ugh.” Thank you Kat.

  • Katherine says:

    This is exactly what I do and reading this really made me see the truth that I was doing this, I never saw things so clearly until now, and your writing has just helped me so much. I know 2013 is going to be awesome and these words are a huge reason why. Thank you so much for all you do, I am really grateful!

  • Collette says:

    This is a fantastic post and will speak to so many people. Future Collette is a nightmare – I’m totally defriending her! She keeps me so busy writing lists and making plans that I never get to actually DO anything! My ‘thing’ is making balanced meals for the children and moving my bottom! Here’s to making TODAY count EVERYDAY in 2013! Thank you so much Kat, you are a brilliant blogger! x

  • Sara H says:

    I thought I was the only one with a future self. πŸ˜€ This is so true. My future self really has been awesome. Only took me 43 years to figure out the problem. Thanks for this great post. Made me smile.

  • Lizzy says:

    My future self is disciplined enough to stay away from that candy bar or piece of cake. Trying hard to get the future self to meld with (and disappear into) the current self. Wise words you speak here. Thank you πŸ™‚

  • Kristin says:

    This is one of the best posts I have ever read. I do this all the time and know it’s a problem, but I have never been able to crystalize why into such a clear thought. Thank you! I will be posting reminder sticky notes about Future Kristin and how unreliable she is. πŸ™‚

  • Michelle Good says:

    This is probably one of my favorite posts Kat! What a great picture! future Michelle had definitely been letting me down alot..she does have to go! Thanks as always!

  • […] The 1 Person You Need to Unfriend in 2013. […]

  • Wow, this is ever so true! I do this so much. My future self is amazing, but my current self, not so much. My greatest enemy is really my fictional future self.

  • Kacey says:

    This post was so awesome! I’d never thought of my supposed to’s and tomorrow self the way you wrote about it here, but it’s so right on. Thanks for jumpstarting my new year!

  • Teresa says:

    I don’t even remember how I found your blog, but I am SO thankful I did! I have been so blessed and encouraged by your posts! Your post on Becoming a Happy Mom was/is SO me, and it led me to the Desperate book (which I LOVE). Then this one, it is also SO me. I also listened to the All Sons & Daughters song, fell in love, and bought the album. I’ve had an incredibly intense week (and month, and year). My deployed husband is coming home this month, but the date keeps getting pushed out. He’s been gone since March, he hasn’t even met our 7-month-old son yet. Our sweet baby boy has recently decided not to nap during the day, is eating less, constipated, etc. He is crying SO much, and it’s just me, the 2-year-old, and the screaming baby (and the vomiting cat). I feel like I am about to lose. my. mind. BUT! God has encouraged my heart so much through your blog and through the resources you have directed me to. THANK YOU. Thank you times a hundred. Sitting here worshipping to “Your Love is All Around” and breathing in the truth and hope. Thank you. <3

  • Jenn says:

    I agree with your sentiment-

    E way we look at it in our house is we need to PROTECT our future self by always setting up our future self for success. Do more little tasks that make the next day, or task easier-

  • Crystal says:

    Love your insight! Future Crystal is 100 lbs lighter and living her life for Christ and not caring about what other people think about her or her lack of close friends. 2013 is my one day at a time year and I’m focused on goals that put me first starting with getting my Teacher certification.

  • “In essence, I make intentional mistakes today trusting that future Kat will bear the burden of fixing them tomorrow. It’s awful, isn’t it?”

    I absolutely loved this post – so funny yet so real πŸ™‚ I am going to have to share it for sure. The change that I have been making today instead of tomorrow is after 9 years of being addicted to Mt.Dew I have am stepping away. I am on Day 6 of no caffeine and no Mt.Dew – a huge challenge for me to scale, but one day at a time. Thank you Kat for this perspective – I loved it and was equally challenged by it.

  • It’s as if you’ve been listening in on my head dialogue for the past few weeks. Freakin’ me out.

    Well said.

    & Inspiring.

  • Becky says:

    Now THAT is some serious truth! Great great post. Thanks!

  • Erin says:

    Kat, thank you for this post. I have read it 3 times now and have been so encouraged by it.

  • […] your future self is enemy #1, then overwhelming goals are enemy […]

  • Chelsea Farnsworth says:

    Just..thank you for this. Thank you, thank you.

  • Melinda says:

    Hey future Kat allow me to introduce you to future Melinda. She is a great deal like you. How about ya’ll adios together chicas. Great analogy, and so true. Putting my trust in the now. Blessings.

  • Carol says:

    the one area I need to work on is my clutter. My future self is so organized that she can’t help but have time to plan menus, exercise, meditate, study the bible. This post and all the comments are so inspiring!

  • Diane says:

    What an excellent post. A daily reminder to not bank of tomorrows promise. That just never comes. Kudos!!