Becoming a Happy Mom

By December 19, 2012 General 30 Comments

I walk down the stairs feeling defeated, especially frustrated with my inconsistencies.

A few weeks ago I got all gung-ho about freezer meal planning. This past week we ate out more then we dined in.

One day is a great day of homeschool. The next am ready to send them all away to public school…in Africa.

As I brush my teeth I can’t help but think about how tired I have become with trying to be a good mom. The pursuit of all the ideals of motherhood often leaves me paralyzed—especially when there are many “best” ways to choose from.

While I floss I secretly wish someone could just come tell me what to do. “Katie, this is the best path, the best choice for you and your kids. Go do that.” Yet, I know that is not how it works.

I lift my tired feet into bed and settle down under my comfy sheets. A bit disillusioned, I pick up where I left off reading and not but a few pages into the chapter I read wisdom.

I believe there is no “one right way.” God calls each of us to seek Him, to look for his wisdom to follow where he calls us by faith, and it will be a different story for each family, marriage, and individual mom or dad. To walk that uncertain line we must trust that God will be faithful to lead and guide us…

I found that the more we walked with God, the more we felt called to live our own puzzle according to the integrity of the husband, wife, and parents God has made us, within the limitations of our own personalities…

A happy mom who is secure in herself and it using our life is a rare gift the children love and appreciate.  

Sally Clarkson, Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe

A happy mom.

I want to be happy mom.

I don’t want my kids to have memories of me, tear stained and crying in the corner. I pray they will forget the anger, the yelling, and my head buried in the puzzle. I hope they don’t recognize when I run to my phone and computer to escape reality.

Mommy guilt robs me of so many happy moments with my kids.

Of course, it requires faith to be yourself, to embrace your own ideals and family design. But living according to the voice of God’s spirit is always the way to freedom, joy, and fulfillment. Living by faith and cultivating your own purposes give you energy to pursue what is on your heart and to take your children along with you in the advancing of those ideals.  

Sally Clarkson, Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe

So ladies, let’s have ideals for our kids, for our family dynamics, and for ourselves. But, let us not forget who we are—who God made us uniquely to be. Let’s not force something that should never be, and keep ourselves in the motherhood box of someone else’s gifts. And let us never try to be anything without His empowering Spirit fueling us toward becoming the mother he has planned specifically for us.

Let’s let go of the guilt of everything we are not, and enjoy our kids without the comparison of what others are doing. Our children don’t want our plans and our good meals, they just want our time and attention.

Are you a happy momma? What robs you of the joy of being with your children? Which ideals do you need to let go of, and seek a better fit for your family?  Let’s chat about it in the comments.


Katie Orr, HelloMornings Director
Jesus-lover. Pastor’s wife. Mommy of three. Grace-clinger. Truth-speaker. Auburn fan.

Co-author of Savoring Living Water: How to have an effective quiet time and author of Focused15 Bible studies. Creator of Do Not Depart where you can receive encouragement and tools to abide in God’s Word.

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