Surrounded by half-open boxes, bare walls, and the mess involved in moving a family of five to a new state, I attempt to do a puzzle with the kids.
A fight quickly ensues over who gets to do what part of the puzzle. Pieces fly, drinks spill, and my blood pressure rises as the screams, squeals, and complaints rise.
I think I might. just. go. crazy.
Trying—with ALL my might—not to scream out of frustration and throw my own puzzle pieces across the room…I lay my head down on the table and pray.
Lord, I can’t do this! I can’t do this! I can’t do this! I want to spend good time with the kids, but I can’t handle this chaos! I want to RUN AWAY. Help me stay. Help me do what you have called me to do. Help me love this messy, stressful, chaotic life.
Why does motherhood have to be so hard?
I’ve asked God many times why being a momma has to be so hard. I love my children and am so thankful for the privilege of motherhood — but it is an incredibly wearisome and difficult journey!
My mind races with questions throughout the day, as I try to deal with the frustrations that come my way.
Why do these kids have to be so darn needy all the time? Why does my four year old HAVE to be by my side all the time, begging me to hold her? Why do my younger two love to crawl into bed with us at night? Why does my two year old insist that I stand and hold him at 6AM—the exact time I set aside to study my Bible and enjoy a quiet cup of much needed coffee?
When I think about what life might be like if my kids played happily, slept soundly, and let me run my days exactly as planned, I start to see a pattern — and I’m not sure life would be the haven it seems it would be.
What would motherhood be like if my kids didn’t need me so much?
Without their demands I would be content to put my role as mom on auto-pilot, so I can get “more important” things done.
Without their cries for attention I would forget that being their momma is not just about feeding their bellies and keeping them dressed, but about preparing them for life ahead and filling their soul with all they need to make that journey.
I would be tempted to ignore their true needs: love, attention, and Jesus.
The kids aren’t the only ones who would miss out. My own need for Jesus would be forgotten.
Without their neediness, I wouldn’t be needy myself.
While I am certainly looking forward to my children growing out of their physical dependance on me to hold, wipe, and cradle, I pray that my dependance on Jesus would be something I never grow out of.
I choose to thank the Lord for this season. Every frazzled, frustrating morning is an opportunity to cling to Him. Each messy moment a chance to depend. Another day filled with the demands of my children is a day filled with the choice to follow the example of my Savior.
So, I think we will try out that puzzle again today…here’s to keeping the pieces on the table this time, and maybe even getting a box or two unpacked!
What in your life is driving you to neediness? Are you running to Jesus with your need? Leave a comment here to share your heart.
(Don’t you just LOVE this puzzle? You can get your own here, and help support the HelloMornings Challenge when you do!)