Our oldest was about 18 months old, and the weariness of motherhood had caught up with me. For the first year, being a mom had been pretty fun—just tiring. Somewhere along the lines I had allowed my fatigue settle into irritability, discontentment, and frustration. Eventually all those emotions surfaced . . . directed at my husband.
He. Could. Do. Nothing. Right.
It got to the point where I just didn’t even want to be around him. I really had no specific reason why, I just didn’t like him very much.
Honestly, it was a bit frightening.
The Need to Escape
We decided we needed a getaway—our first since becoming parents. We booked a short cruise (subsidized by my parents!), drove down to Florida to drop off Kenneth at my awesome in-laws, and kept driving to Miami.
I was looking forward to the restful time, but nervous about spending four days with my husband—all by ourselves—with nothing to do. I had nothing to plan, no diapers to change, no meals to make or playdates to run off to.
I quickly found out that I did still like my husband (whew!) My irritability melted away as we slept (facilitated by the interior cabin we had with no windows) until we felt like getting up, watched hours of stupid movies, enjoyed the views from the ship’s deck, and really did a whole-lot-of-nothing.
Well, I guess we did eat a lot!
The Importance of Getting Away
Through our sweet time of reconnecting, I saw what I already knew deep inside: I had no good reason to be upset with him, I just wanted a reason to complain.
I was in need of a clear head to see, once again, that he is a wonderful man.
It is hard to get away, I get it. But, ladies this needs to be a priority. The demands of motherhood will take away from your relationship with your husband, without great intentionality otherwise.
I feel like I need to say that one again . . .
How to Reconnect with Your Husband
Here are a few ways to get some needed, undistracted alone time with the hubbie.
- Grab a quick overnight away. Check out Priceline or Hotwire for great deals on nearby hotels.
- Schedule regular date nights. Even one every few months can do a lot of good!
- Find a TV show on Netflix and schedule some mini watching-marathons together.
- Try to exercise together.
- Plan something big. This will take some planning and financial sacrifice, but it will be worth it.
- Catch a lunch date together while the kids are at school.
I realize many of these ideas take time, money, and lots of juggling of the kiddos, but we need to view our marriage as the most important earthly relationship to invest in, and worth the struggle it takes to get away.
“Date Night” Ideas
I’d love to hear your favorite date night tips! How do you choose to reconnect with your husband? What are some easy, cheap ways you’ve found to get away? What has been the most fruitful “splurge” you and your husband have enjoyed? I can’t wait to read your ideas, in the comments!