Being a Mom is One of the Hardest Things I’ve Ever Done

I screamed really loudly when I was birthing my third child, “GET IT OUT!!!” I got to the hospital too late for any drugs. Which, by the way, makes me want to give public, mad props to my sister — and the rest of you natural she-women — for her home-births. Mad props.

But the physical strain doesn’t stop after delivery. In fact that’s basically where it begins. Because then comes the sleepless nights, constant laundry, dirty bathrooms, mismatched socks, Pinterest crafts, and shuffling to the various extra-curricular activities. Being a mom is physically hard. And tiring.

Did someone say “nap-time”?

 

yawn
flickr photo credit


 

But we all know that it’s way more than physical. It’s soul-hard.

When I first became a mom I had no idea that God was putting me on this journey of intense sanctification. Seriously. I’m convinced that He put my kids on the planet partly to reveal my own depravity. Because when left to me, I overreact. I grumble about their grumbling. I holler in frustration. It isn’t pretty.

But here’s the awesomeness of God. It’s in the hardest circumstances of life that exquisite beauty can appear. It’s in the seasons when we’re at the end of ourselves that He can work His miraculous redemption.

I’m not “exquisitely beautiful” in my mommy-ness. Not yet. Believe me. But He is teaching me what it means to surrender. He has given me a taste of the freedom that can come with motherhood.

So in this new day in mommy-land, I’ll leave you with three tips for greater victory:
 

  1. Begin with Him.
  2. It’s what inspired HelloMornings! It’s the beat of Kat’s heart for us as moms. We have to start the day with Him. And in those moments before the checklist begins we have to remind ourselves as we pray, “Lord, I can’t do it. I can’t be a mom who honors You. But You can do it through me. Love through me today.”

  3. Remember that they are His.
  4. These kids aren’t ours. They’re His. He designed them. He has plans for them. And sister-friend, He can shape and lead them, often in spite of us.

  5. Leave fear and worry at His throne.
  6. The fears will come. We love “our” kids with a fierce love and we want good things for them. But Jesus didn’t die so that we would live in fear. He died to set us free. So today, ask Him to enable you to lay every anxious thought before Him. Because He loves them more than we ever could.

 

It may be the hardest thing we ever do — this mommyhood thing. But that just means that it could be the place of our greatest victory.

 

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10

 

What aspect of motherhood challenges you the most? Practically speaking, how can we depend more on Him through the dailiness of life?
 

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26 Comments

  • Avatar Jen says:

    Thank you Thank you Thank you

    It seems every Bible study I do right now, no matter the subject matter, leads me right to being a mom. How can I do it better, how can I survive, why am I a mom, why these kids that I think I’m messing up, how do I prioritize my time, how can I give up MY time, how do I do everything for them right now?! So many whys, so many hows… but you have hit the nail right on the head to what I needed to hear so Thank You!

    Praying for moms everywhere!!

  • Avatar Patti says:

    Thank you!! This is so beautiful!! ♥

  • Avatar Christine Gibson says:

    What’s challenging me right now is that my six month old is teething and not sleeping more than 2 hours at a time and my 3.5 year old is into everything and demands constant attention. I’m left completely drained. No rest at night and no break during the day and we are so broke that we run out of money between paychecks so there’s no nursery school or art class to occupy my kids…. just me. I’m so bitter, angry, resentful of my husband who gets to go off to work everyday and my friends who can afford to send their kids to preschool. I miss my old life, my old hobbies, my old body…..

    • Avatar Lara says:

      Christine, I hear you and though I am not in that same stage, I know how selflessly draining it can be. But I also know that you are not alone. Those feelings are normal. They’re even real. But feelings are funny. They’re fluid and partly unreliable. I pray that our gracious God encourages you. I pray that you can bring those real, honest feelings to Him — even if it means locking yourself in the bathroom for a few minutes. I pray that He brings a close sister-friend that you can lean on. And I pray that you can find comfort in knowing that this stage will pass…and bring new challenges. (*wink*) Much love to you!

  • Avatar Danita says:

    The biggest challenge for me is not allowing myself to feel guilty. It can be a struggle but guilt doesn’t help me get the job done as a mom. It just wears on my confidence and overloads my thoughts. I have memorized and remind myself of this scripture: You will keep him in perfect peace,
    Whose mind is stayed on You,
    Because he trusts in You. Trust in the Lord forever,
    For in YAH, the Lord, is everlasting strength. Isaiah 26:3-4 NKJV
    When I think about this scripture I am consistently encouraged to keep my thoughts on my Father who loves me, has made me guiltless and makes me strong!

  • Avatar Larri says:

    Great post, Lara! My challenge is allowing my kids to grow in the next phases of their lives. My littles aren’t so little any longer. I pray the foundations I gave them…and I started late with a lot of it…will carry them through as they enter their teen and tween years.

    As for the practical, the only advice I have to other Moms is to get up. Just get up, especially on the days you don’t want to. You might be floundering and not even know where to turn, how to study, what to do. On those days, sit quietly and listen for Him. He’s there. If you can’t hear Him, call out to Him. Even saying, “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus…I have no idea what to say to You. I don’t know what to pray. I just know I need You.” is sometimes all that matters. Because He hears and He knows Your heart. It’s not a tweet /FB competition. It’s just getting up and meeting Him there.

    • Avatar Colleen says:

      I needed to hear that, having a hard time with my 7 month old he is teething and not sleeping well I’m exhausted and when my 6 year old comes home from school I don’t have the energy left to deal with her I’m just way too tired. Found myself in the closet today screaming and praying for God to please let my boy sleep so i can recharge mentally he slept for 10 min and then woke up now waiting on him to go back to sleep . Parenting is sometimes too hard I can’t do it without God!

  • Avatar Beth says:

    This is exactly what I needed to hear today, thanks!

  • Avatar Jackie says:

    Oh Christine Gibson I want to give you a hug and come over and be with your kids to give you a break… I don’t know where you live, but if we’re anywhere near each other I would. I had times and moments of having those feelings and I know how hard it can be to admit that.
    This calling of motherhood is t always easy and some seasons are truly harder than others.
    I will be praying for you for peace and renewed energy and that the Lord would multiply your sleep and allow you to feel refreshed and renewed. If you want to email me directly, please feel free. Hugs and love and peace being sent your way. I hope you see this.

    • Avatar Christine Gibson says:

      thank you Jackie..I felt the prayers and my day got easier. I hope your prayers work tonight with the babys sleep too 🙂

  • Avatar LD says:

    I loved reading this post and, as others have said, it was just what I needed. Also, I was thinking I need to read a good parenting/motherhood book. Thought I’d ask if you have any you’d highly recommend? Christian themed would be great, but not necessary.
    Thanks! 🙂

  • Avatar Debbie says:

    Thank you. I really needed to read this today and was so encouraged by it. I’m dealing with getting ready for a move I don’t particularly want this summer, as well as two active boys, 4 and 1, and the usual mommy guilt b/c my temper and frustration levels are sky high alot of the time.

  • Avatar Sherry says:

    Motherhood is hard, but as we all know, so indescribably rewarding, joyful, delightful and how were we ever complete without our children?!? I know that through having a child and loving her to bits and pieces,I have learned so much more and understand much better God’s love toward me, His very precious, stubborn, overly active (busy), sometimes grumpy, child. He is very patient with me and I pray that I will love my children just like He loves me!

  • Avatar Deborah says:

    I have five children. Four cannot wipe their bottoms yet. Somedays I hate wiping their bottoms with EVERY fiber of my being! Thanks for the reminder that mommying is also about what God is teaching ME!

  • I can relate 100%. You must’ve read my mind and then wrote it down beautifully on here…Thanks for being honest and open, we need to know we are not a lone…Great verse I’ve been thinking on there at the end too!

  • Avatar Renee says:

    Thanks for this 3-step plan – I NEED this! The overwhelm gets to me and I forget to Whom my kids and I belong.

    Thanks, Lara, for putting in writing what so many of us Mamas are experiencing.

  • Avatar maddalena70 says:

    Hella I am Maddalena and writing from Italy.

    It is a very bad period for me as a mother. . . . I feel as i am in prison and want to escape. . . i lost all my patience and I am in a continous struggle woth my two little girls (3 and 6). . .

    I do not what can I do to imrpove my life as a mom.

    May you help me?

    cheers

    Maddalena

    • Avatar Kat Lee says:

      Maddalena,
      We’ve all had those seasons…when it just seems too hard. So I hope to first encourage you that this IS just a season. You won’t always feel like this.

      When I am struggling, the first thing I try to do is get a few hours to myself. I might do that at night after the kids go to bed, early in the morning before they wake up, or on a weekend when my husband can take over for a few hours.

      I spend this time praying, reading Scripture and reading an inspiring parenting book. A few that I’ve really enjoyed are Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson, Love and Logic, and Give Them Grace.

      Then I write down my priorities as a mom. For example, I want to lead my kids to Jesus, make memories with them and walk in patience. When I know my goals, I don’t feel as overwhelmed by the things I’m NOT doing. Like crafts.

      If you can do only one thing, I hope you’ll just spend some extra time praying and asking God to give you encouragement, vision and grace for each day.

      I’ll be praying for you today, Maddalena.

  • Avatar maddalena70 says:

    Thank you very much Kat. . .

    I will try to do what you have suggested. . .

    IT ‘ll not be easy. . . but I’ll try. . .

    and pray

  • Avatar maddalena70 says:

    The problem is that I think that I lost myself as a individual soul . . .

    I am so confused at the moment that I do not know anymore who I am

  • I read this on the day it was posted and it was exactly what I needed!

  • Avatar Lydia says:

    Thank you so much for this reminder. I needed it desperately today. My hubby is away on business about half of the year, so I’m essentially a single parent during those weeks he’s away. I get so stressed out and lose all patience most days, then feel guilty and hate myself for taking my anger and frustration out on these little beings (3 and 1.5). I have (and am) struggled with depression for the past 6 years. I try not to use that as an excuse, but some days I feel like it’s overtaken me and I have no control over anything. Some days it just doesn’t feel like God is there or cares. These reminders hit home today. I need to make sure that I’m focusing my energy in the morning on time with God, even if it’s just a desperate plea for help to make it through the day! 🙂 Thank you for opening your heart up to us!

  • Avatar Dunja says:

    I really enjoyed reading this.It was just what I needed to hear. Thank you.

  • […] I’ve written about this before, but we as parents will fail. We aren’t going to do it perfectly. So we simply confess and rest in God’s faithful forgiveness. Then we move forward in grace. […]