(Note from Kat: This is a guest post from Heidi. She shared many of these ideas in a post I linked to last year that became very popular on Pinterest and Facebook. Now that she’s closing her blog, she offered to rewrite her list for Inspired to Action. Enjoy and go have some fun with your kids!)
Hi Moms! Due the the incredible popularity of this series, I’ve created a FREE ecourse on “How To Be A Rockstar Mom.” It’s packed with simple, fun ideas to do with your kids.
Click here to learn more!
The Importance of One on One Time with Your Kids
Spending intentional un-interrupted time with your child has infinite rewards. No matter the quantity or quality of the toys they may have, it will never compare to simply being with you.
Do I spend every waking moment engaging with my two young boys? No – far from it. I believe in the value of teaching a child to have independent play as well. After all, I’ve got a house to maintain, adult relationships to foster, as well as a drive pursue my individual interests and business pursuits. I do, however, make an intentional effort to spend several regular slots of time with them daily.
Child development experts suggest that these little bits of ‘Special Time’ will add up to an increased trust and emotional/relational bond that will enable them to feel secure and less likely to act out negatively for attention. I have certainly seen this to be true in my home. I expect these experiences will also set a foundation for our future relationship to thrive even as they grow more and more independent.
Strive to have several 5 to 15 minutes periods of “Special Time’ rather than engaging for one long block of time with toddlers and preschoolers.
Here are some tips to get started:
- First, tell your child, “We are going to have special time together.” Let them know when to expect it. (After you’ve finished a few chores, after school, or dinner, or perhaps at baby siblings nap time etc.)
- Ask, “What are some things you would like to do for our special time here at home?” Give them some choices if they cannot think of anything.
- Tell them when you will have the next special time.
- Tell them when you are having the special time. “This is my special time with you, {insert child name}.” Say something positive like, “I like doing things with you.”
- Warn them before the time is up and say… “Soon it is going to be baby’s turn ….or Mommies turn.”
- Tell them when the next special time will be. Remind them to be thinking about what they would like to do.
- Later, remind them about the special time you had together, and that another special time is coming.
- Do not take special time away as punishment for behavior earlier in the day. Being able to count on special time with you provides them support and sense of unconditional love and connection.
“Special Time” provides children with some structured way of knowing when you’re available. It will meet the indwelt need they have to feel connected and to have a security about their place in the family. With sufficient positive interaction, they won’t have to act out negatively in order to get your attention. Knowing you’ll spend time with them at planned times throughout the day will encourage better independent play as well.
I have my own mother to thank for a great example of this habit. I recently found a list that we compiled together and I’ve added some of my own ideas to share with you:
101 things you can do with your child:
1. Go to the library – stay for story time
2. Bake something, anything
3. Construct something with blocks or Lego’s
4. Read a book
5. Draw/Color together
6. Go window shopping
7. Host a play date with their favorite friend
8. Dress Up together
9. Go Sledding
10. Build something in the snow (fort, snowman)
11. Go swimming (indoor or outdoor)
12. Have a picnic (outside or on the living room floor!)
13. Listen to new music together
14. Visit a museum
15. Visit a Zoo
16. Visit a pet store
17. Write and mail a letter to someone special
18, Play a card or board game
19. Take a walk
20. Get out baby photos and talk about them
21. Sing Songs
22. Take a class together at local art center
23. Go roller or ice skating together
24. Tell stories about when your child was a baby
25. Hug/hold your child
26. Build a blanket fort
27. Tell your child what makes them special ( to you and others)
28. Teach/tell your child about your job – take them to work for a day if you can
29. Have a scavenger hunt (indoor or outdoor)
30. Go to a movie together
31. Visit your child at school
32. Dig out your year book and share about your experiences
33. Visit a nursing home or hospital
34. Finger Paint
35. Take pictures
36. Visit and learn about places in your neighborhood (fire station, police station, post office, dairy, etc.)
37. Clean out a room together (basement, attic, garage)
38. Work a puzzle together
39. Plan a vacation together – then GO!
40. Make S’mores
41. Build a bird house
42. Play a sport together
43. Make homemade pizza
44. Rake leaves and play/jump in them
45. Go on a hayride
46. Visit an apple orchard / pumpkin patch
47. Plant something
48. Have a water fight
49. Play hide and seek
50. Go to the state fair
51. Collect different fall leaves
52. Have a block party
53. Take a hike
54. Make puppets and put on a show for each other
55. Tell stories about your childhood
56. Attend athletic event
57. Make homemade ice cream
58. Learn about different cultures
59. Take flowers to a friend
60. Go wading in a creek
61. Go for a train ride
62. Go horseback riding
63. Climb a tree
64. Go camping
65. Have a family talent show
66. Draw a map and have a treasure hunt
67. Walk/play in the rain
68. Talk about feelings/emotions
69. Paint a picture by numbers together
70. Go to a theater performance
71. Complete a DIY project together
72. Wash the car
73. Play Frisbee
74. Pick up litter in the community
75. Fly a homemade kite
76. Jump rope
77. Exercise together
78. Discuss nutrition and the 4 basic food groups
79. Start a savings account – talk about budgeting and saving money
80. Write a story (draw illustrations together too!)
81. Go fishing
82. Visit a relative
83. Visit the neighbors
84. Go bowling
85. Dance party!
86. Play Simon Says
87. Have letter or color of the week and look for them together
88. Play “I Spy”
89. Act out a favorite story together
90. Listen to music and play homemade instruments together
91. Start a gratitude journal with your child – they can draw what they are thankful for
92. Let your child pick out the menu for a meal
93. Start a collection
94. Practice/teach something (reading, tying shoes, zipping zipper, sports, rhyming, sorting, telling time)
95. Sidewalk chalk
96. Go for a bike ride
97. Play pretend
98. Make a collage out of photos and/or clippings of their favorite things
99. Tell jokes
100. Spend time simply LISTENING to them.
101. Make a list of things you want to do together in the future! 
“When you look at your life,
the greatest happiness’s are
family happiness.”
~Joyce Brothers~
And You…?
Do you plan to have ‘Special Time’ with your child for set times during the days/weeks and really engage? Try it! You’ll be amazed at how it changes their behavior (for the better) and begins to seal a bond between the two of you just by being there WITH them.
What are 2 fun things you do with your children?
Want even more ideas for children birth through age 6?
Check out: Play and Learn Family Activities
Heidi is a Professional Organizer and Family Manager Coach. She is passionate about helping others bring more order and peace to their home, office and family life. Heidi provides personalized one-on-one services to individuals in the Twin Cities region of Minnesota as well as Virtual Coaching Consultations. Learn more by visiting her website, OperationOrganization-MN.com.
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My name is Kat and I'm so glad you stopped by. This blog is full of resources for inspired moms like you.
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Great post! Some, but not all of these ideas will work with teenagers. Does anyone have any other ideas of what to do with teenagers (that doesn’t break the bank).
<3 Thank you!
Alethia,
I think for a teen, the best one would be #100 – list fun things to do in the future. You could take them out on a date and brainstorm all the things you’d like to do together.
I agree – go out for dinner or dessert and get a good idea of what their interests are then make an effort to simply enter into their world – (even if it’s video games once in a while…Ha, ha!) I remember enjoying doing sporting and other outdoor activities like hiking with my parents as a teen. You could plan for the occasional activity that does cost a bit more for a special treat too.
I just posted on a similar topic today – one of the things that I do with my daughter (who isn’t a teenager, but this would be a perfect fit for one) is have breakfast before school at a local coffee shop once in a while. I know it’s the rare teenager that dislikes Starbucks these days, so you might be able to get your teen up early with the promise of a yummy breakfast!
good one!
Awesome post — going to print out this list and make a goal of checking off as many as I can before my kids are too old to enjoy them!
(Also, because it caught my eye, we did a train ride for our oldest’s 3rd birthday and it was so much fun! Maybe we’ll do it again for our youngest’s 3rd birthday!)
Mandi,
Great idea to print them out! I thought about cutting them up and putting them in a jar – then this summer when the kids “don’t know what to do” we can pick an item out and (hopefully) go do it.
We did a train ride for the first time last year and the kids LOVED it.
I may be too much of a control freak to randomly pick out of a jar, LOL. Maybe I should work on that!
The jar is a great idea!
Love this!
Pinning to save for later/planning
Thank you!
We do a lot of these things already but there are definitely some new ones to try. Thanks!! A few that have been favorites lately: 1) Family Wii “Just Dance” parties and 2) doing color-by-number with my 5-year-old. I also like Saturday morning “donut dates” with my boys.
We’ve been considering purchasing a Wii for some family fun as well!
We do Wii Just Dance parties too! We all love it except for mommy gets a little too into getting high scores!
Thanks for this great list! I love (1) swinging with them at the park – seeing how high we can go and feeling a bit childish doing so, and (2) watching a cooking show together. It is hilarious, but my boys find that to be a real treat and it is relaxing for us all.
Isn’t it great that kids give us an opportunity to let loose and really enjoy life by embracing our own inner child sometimes!?
Thanks for all the great ideas! I’ve been thinking about this topic since last week (and just blogged about it with a link back here)! I took my daughter (without siblings) to Chuck E Cheese so that we could reconnect. But I think spending time can be as easy as taking just one of your kids on an erand with you to be mom’s helper.
You’re so right – having a one-on-one errand outing is such a simple way to build intentionality with a child, especially if there are normally lots of siblings that are usually along for the ride.
Thanks Kat! So needed this reminder. Life around here gets so busy sometimes and although my intention is to spend time individually with my kids it doesn’t always happen. The ideas you mention are great. Now to actually block out the time and stick to it.
This is definitely more than a 10-15 min. commitment, but I’ve been doing slumber parties with my 5 yr old daughter and she loves it. We usually have pizza and then watch a movie of her choosing and stay up “late” and then hop into bed where we tell stories and then go to sleep. It’s become a really special and fun time for us.
What special memories your are building together with that tradition- how wonderful!
It is also important to make the time to be with our teens, they are independent now, but still need that one-on-one, even qhen they are not asking for it.
Absolutely, Nohemi. Do you currently have teens in your household? What do you/then enjoy doing together?
I do try to forget about doing chores at home and sit down with my 11 year old and just pay attention to her, also have a date for her and do something that she enjoys.
My son’s favorite: playing with his tractors.
My favorite: reading books.
I’m going to print them out too! Thanks!
We do a LOT of reading in our house as well – I think both my boys have learned that mommy will drop pretty much anything if a request is made to snuggle up with a story.
~H
This is simply wonderful, Kat! I want a printable version of it (hint, hint).
My daughter’s favorite things are to “play Mary & Laura” which means to pretend to be those two characters from Little House on the Prairie and to play with her dollhouse. She’s such a little girl.
Seriously love this post!
Love that!
We have epic Star Wars battles in our house of boys, but I do get to be Princess Leia.
Glad you enjoyed the post!
~H
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