Stop the Spin Cycle

By October 21, 2011Get Inspired, Guest Posts

(A Note from Kat: Today’s guest post is from my lovely new friend Joy, who blogs wisdom at Grace Full Mama.)

“…the children who actually end up performing better are those who understand that their relationship with God doesn’t depend on their performance for Jesus but on Jesus’s performance for them.” -Tullian Tchividjian

Stop the Spin Cycle

For many years, although I knew the gospel story in my head, it wasn’t a reality in my day. As a first-born pastor’s kid of a large church, I spent most of my growing up years sick with anxiety and guilt over not being good enough in some area of my life.

In my mind, there was some magical measuring stick that I was jumping up trying to reach, and I was never making it. I was searching for the elusive thing that would make me “good enough” and trying to keep all of those plates spinning, or at least keep everyone thinking they were spinning.

But inside that is what I was doing, spinning. It wasn’t until I truly understood this verse that I was able to embrace the true message of the Gospel:

“For it is by grace you have been saved and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God.” Ephesians 2:8-9

And, now I want to pass that radical acceptance on to my precious children. I want to stop the cycle of spinning.

What about you? Do you want your children to obey one more list of rules? One more box to check on their list of “good enough”?

Or, do you want to lead your children into the most amazing grace they have ever experienced? Do you want them to taste the fruit of true acceptance and help them to know exactly where they stand?

How to Stop The Spin Cycle for Your Children:

1. Let your failings lead you and your kids to the Cross. Be honest with your kids when you fail. Don’t hide it. Admit it, and show them that you are a recipient of amazing grace just the same as them.

2. Preach it to yourself first. Do you believe that you are enough because He is enough? Have you let it sink down into your bones? Do you really understand how vile of a sinner you are and how MUCH the Savior did for you?

3. Tell them the Story. The Gospel story is the one thing that your children should hear again and again. Start and end the day with it. Let it always be on your tongue.

Find some time today to get alone with yourself and your Bible. Read these words, and let them sink into your soul. Let the Lord tell you that He has done all that needs to be done. And let that spill over into your parenting today.

Joy is the proud wife of a missionary pilot and blessed mommy to five. She and her family live in Indonesia.

You can find her blogging at Grace Full Mama.

Leave a Comment



  • Avatar Erin says:

    Thanks for this reminder, Joy. It’s a good one to see first thing in the morning.

  • Avatar Christin says:

    Yes, a lesson I am still learning..but…God has brought me a long way since I first started my journey. Grace is such an overwhelmingly beautiful gift.

    • Avatar Joy says:

      Thanks Christin,
      I appreciate you so much! God has brought me such a long way as well. He is so good to wait patiently as we figure it out! 🙂

  • Avatar Christy says:

    Thanks, Joy! I am working hard at asking forgiveness from my kids when I fail. It’s good to know I’m on the right track!

    • Avatar Joy says:

      I think we are all in this together, muddling through, figuring it out, and getting grace when we fail. Thanks for commenting!

  • Avatar Amy says:

    I never got this growing up either. I thought it was a bunch of rules and that I wasn’t good enough. Good old Catholic guilt. (I am still Catholic just realize you don’t have to feel guilty, so no one take that as a knock against the church.)I know He loves me right where I am but it doesn’t mean we don’t have to keep trying to do better. But it is not done on our own. It is His grace that makes us grow. I know I could not do it without Him. Thanks for sharing. (By the way-Are you state side yet? Can’t wait for Relevant!!!)

    • Avatar Joy says:

      Hi Amy,
      It’s good to know that I am not alone!:) Yes, I am now state-side getting acclimated to the weather and time change! See you soon!

  • Avatar Renee says:

    Thank you for sharing this lovely post with us all

  • Avatar Brooke says:

    I am so blessed you posted here today. I came across your blog in August and didn’t save it to my favorites. I could only remember you were a pilot’s wife and missionary mama. Nice to know your blogging home now. I have you bookmarked!

  • Ah, I was there too. What could be sweeter than trusting Him and telling others, too!

  • I like the last one. Like Deuteronomy 6:8 for the New Testament believer. May my children never accuse me of neglecting to saturate them with the Gospel message!