Are You a mother or a Mother?

By August 29, 2011Get Inspired

“I’m a marketing director for a national art gallery.”

“I’m headed to Uganda to work in an orphanage.”

“I’m a corporate lawyer.”

“What do you do, Kat?”

I’m a Mother.

::

Not just a mom.

In the past saying, “I’m a Mother” wasn’t always the easiest thing for me to do. But I’ve realized that we can cower beneath the low expectations society puts on motherhood or we can redefine what motherhood means to our society.

::

I’m a tennis player.

So is Venus Williams.

I’m a musician.

So is Amy Grant.

I’m a blogger.

So is Tsh.

I’m proof that anyone can have a title.

But Venus Williams redefined what it meant to be a woman tennis player. Amy Grant redefined what it meant to be a Christian musician. Tsh redefined what it meant to be a “mommy blogger.”

Titles can define us or we can define them.

::

I’m a Mother. I want to define what Motherhood is to my children. I want to work so hard, pray so passionately, and live so intentionally that they never think about what a mom could or should be, but they think about who I am.

Not for my glory, but for their benefit and His praise.

Motherhood can happen to us or we can happen to it.

I’m a Mother. How about you?

Have you ever struggled with being “just” a mom? Or with the responses of others when you tell them you’re “just” a mom?

The next time you say it, may you do so with all the nobility, honor and respect Heaven holds for you.

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Comments

37 Comments

  • Avatar Sandra says:

    Great post and OH so true. I am not a Mother but I am God’s daughter and a Christian who believes the Bible is His inspired word and who has accepted Christ as my Savior.
    It seems to me the brunt of our self image comes from allowing and/or accepting others to place their titles/definitions upon us. Once I got the pesky problem of “Who am I?” figured out, life settled down and became much less stressful. Not easier but less stressful because I realized, ultimately, it’s His burden; I only follow.
    Kat, I’m looking forward to meeting you in heaven.

  • How timely…..my family had a VERY interesting conversation this weekend when, in the middle of a 15-hour drive home from vacation, the voices in the backseat started escalating, and we hear our 8-year-old son say “but being a mom isn’t a REAL job!”

    We had a nice, long whole-family talk about that one ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Avatar Maria says:

    I struggle with being “just” a mom at least once a week. I am a new stay-at-home mom (just started in Feb of this year) and previous to staying home had a very successful consulting position. Let me mention though I might have been successful financially, I was not as “successful” with my family, being gone for weeks at a time or working until the wee hours of the morning with nothing left for them! I believe we have to define what success truly is, and choose whether we believe in the World’s definition or our Heavenly Father’s definition. He’s completely changed my heart, and though I believe I will have a small business or other outlet (like my blog) He has made it clear that my first priority is being “just” a mom.

    • Avatar Kat says:

      Well said Maria!

    • Avatar Tiffany says:

      Maria – you just wrote my story! I was a consultant before having children, traveling all over the world and making a lot of money. I gave up the travel, but not all the money, by working part-time when I had children. After 4 years, I realized that no one was getting my best so I quit and now stay home. I’m the ONLY one of all my friends that stays home so it’s a challenge to not defend that being a Mother is more fulfilling and rewarding than my previous career. I, too, feel very confident that God has asked me to take care of my family, first.

      Thanks for the great post, Kat! I think I’ll start responding to the “what do you do?” question with “I’m a Mother.” Love it, thank you!

      • Avatar Maria says:

        Tiffany — Funny our stories are the same! I did give up the travel, for the last year, but my son was still going to full-time daycare, as I continued working at home. I think I’ll always have that fire, that drive for business (that’s why I started the blog and am thinking of starting another business) but my husband and I are both committed to the fact that family is first and foremost. If and only if I get the important things done could other endeavors play a part. We are all blessed to have husbands that support this decision for us to be moms, as they have the huge responsibility of providing for all of us!

        Kat — I too, love your quote “Motherhood can happen to us or we can happen to it.รขโ‚ฌย It’s so important to be purposeful in our mothering. We’ve been given a special calling — we need to use it wisely.

  • Avatar Ashlee says:

    Hi there! I’m new to your blog (from Keeper of the Home) and am really excited about the upcoming Hello Morning challenge.

    I love this post! The world tries hard to diminish the role of mother (and father) and we must work even harder to not let that happen. There’s a book you might enjoy, I Am Mother, by former broadcast journalist Jane Clayson Johnson about this very topic. She discusses the challenges she went through quitting her big swanky job to be a full-time mother. It’s a beautiful book and very uplifting.

  • Avatar Rebeca says:

    Being a Mom is my dream job! With four kids, I realize it’s way harder than anything I imagined, but the rewards are worth it!

  • Avatar sandy says:

    Such a timely post in my life! My prayer as a mother recently has been to focus on those things that have eternal weight.” Motherhood can happen to us or we can happen to it.” I’m going to post this quote where I can be reminded often. Thank you for the encouragement!

  • Avatar Julie says:

    I was watching my 2 1/2 year old “mother” her little baby doll, so I asked her how she learned to be such a good mommy to her dolly. She said, “I watched you!” It made me smile! :o)

  • Avatar Christie says:

    So encouraging to read this post and the comments from the other mamas! I have been a stay at home mom for four years, leaving my social work career behind after the birth of our first child. Since that time, God has called us to leave family planning in His hands (scary, but a blessing!) and we now have a 4 year old, a 17 month old, and a 2month old. The “world” was very unkind to me when I became pregnant with our third. (that story can be found at http://www.mywalkwitheden.com/2011/01/mama-moments-bless-your-heart.html). Thank you, ladies, for brightening my walk as a full time mother today!

  • Avatar Sara P says:

    When we moved and started going to church nearby I really didn’t get into what my “previous” career was before staying at home. I was more interested in meeting the other women in the church and chasing my 2 little kids during fellowship time. I find it funny that they all assumed I had been a teacher, when I was a pilot!

  • Avatar Liberty says:

    @annVoskamp had a post last week about what God may be calling us to do courageously… after giving it a lot of thought and meditation, it came to me that staying put and being ALL IN as a Mamma IS quite courageous.
    Great post!
    Blessings!

  • Avatar jackie says:

    This is fabulous. My favorite part is that I read it after seeing it linked on FB. Then I realized that you wrote it. I’ve had your waking up early e-book saved on my computer for uhhh…too long {probably well over a year}. For some reason, I read it last night at midnight. And I got up an hour earlier than usual this morning. ๐Ÿ™‚ Yay! I’ve never been on your blog before, so I find this all extremely amusing!! Thanks for a great e-book and a great blog post. I couldn’t agree more with both of them. Now, excuse me while I go flex my Mother muscles!

  • Avatar Chas says:

    I’m a new mother and so far I haven’t had to defend my choice of staying home. I gave up a six figure career as well, but one that I was never fulfilled at. I now know that being a mommy is what I was meant to do. I wake up every morning hoping and praying that I do my job well and that I’m able to instill Godly qualities in my little one.

    I do struggle with living intentionally and making sure that I devote my time to the proper things (less TV and internet when the baby is awake, spending time each day doing house projects), but I’m praying that over time I become the type of mother and wife that I know I can be.

  • Avatar Kisti says:

    Wonderful! I needed to read that today!

  • Avatar Sabrina says:

    What a great post! I do struggle with being “just a mom”…I quit my job in April, to stay home full time with my now 2 1/2 year old, and 1 year old. 2 months ago I started watching my daughter’s 2 kids, and am being paid by family resources for it. My sister said something along the lines of “isn’t it great that you get to be paid, and you don’t have to do anything?” I often feel like I should make a list of things a stay at home mom does. I have, then I crumble it, because I am not complaining, and wouldn’t trade this for the world. I don’t want sympathy, but I don’t like other people thinking that I “just” stay home all day. And do nothing. I came from a real estate backround, used to travel, and have tons of nice suits still hanging in my closet, but I do feel that being with my kids is more important than me making it to the top in any career. I am still trying to be more intentional at home and with the kids, but in the meantime, thanks for posts like this that give me a little validation :0)

  • Avatar Jane says:

    Amen and AMEN!! Needed this today ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Avatar Diana says:

    I sometimes feel like I’m “just” a mom. Especially at times when my kids are off at school or working. I’m usually stuck at home alone and have barely anything to do but clean around the house and doing daily chores. I’ve been taking dance classes for a few years and find that it’s just the right amount of time for myself that I so desperately needed.

  • Avatar Nicki says:

    I am a Mother, happily learning that this is the most important job title I will ever hold. When filling out paperwork I used to leave the ‘job title’ space empty now I happily fill in MOTHER. We live simply and quietly but I wouldn’t change a thing! So blessed to have this opportunity!! Thanx for speaking the words that dance in my heart.

  • Avatar Lisa says:

    Thank you for the encouragement! I’ve been thinking about this topic lately. Sometimes it seems there is not a lot of support in our culture for what we do as moms, but God sees it as something very noble.

  • Avatar Renee says:

    Thank you for this encouraging and inspiring post. For me, being a Mother is something that I have been learning and will be until the day I meet our Maker. Motherhood is more then giving birth, it’s a calling.

  • Avatar Mela Kamin says:

    Saw this retweeted several times & finally had the chance to come over & read – so glad I did! This has the makings of a great Mom campaign – well done, Kat. Made me sit a little straighter in my chair as I look over at the family I’m blessed to care for.

  • Avatar Victoria says:

    Thanks for sharing, such an encouragement as I am struggling with being a new stay at home mom.

  • I use to be “just a mom”. But, when our family moved back to Texas, I think I fully embraced being Mother. When we came back to our home turf, I spent a lot of time defending why I would want to stay at home with my children. I fielded so many questions about why I didn’t work away from home, why my girls weren’t in a mother’s day out program and being called “crazy” for wanting to be a Mother {and Mother to more than one child}. The more I defended my children and my role in their lives, the more fiercely I embraced what being Mother means to them and to me. It has been a wonderful, trying, beautiful time for me and my children. And I am so grateful for it.

  • Avatar Katie says:

    When I read this post I was planning a post telling my readers about how you had inspired me to really change my morning routine. Well this post was here when I came to find the link to add to my post and I really want to think you for writing this. Here is a link to my post where I referenced this post. http://asouthernladysramblings.blogspot.com/2011/08/loving-my-life.html

  • Avatar Jenny says:

    There are days when I feel like all I am here for is to cook and clean-up after everyone! I use to sulk and have my own pity party, you know “poor mommy”, but now I see my role as a mom in a new way! An older mother once told me “Child dirty dishes are a blessing, so is the pile of dirty laundry. Your blessed with food to eat and clothing on your back!” Amen!

    I am so blessed to be a mother! I know several women who can’t have children that would love to have their own. Each day I thank God for giving me my two precious little girls.

    I am also a stay at home mom who homeschools and have found lots of mom support thru others in the homeschool community. Being able to meet with theese women or even email or blogs, it all is a great support system for moms.

    I have the “Mom Pledge” posted in my kitchen on my fridge so I see it everyday and it reminds me of what my “job” description really is!
    You can find this at http://www.hannahkeeley.com hope you can check it out.

    Blessed is the Mother who walks with GOD!

  • Avatar Jenn says:

    I am a Tax Manager, GTP(SA), and soon to be Accountant – I’d give it up in a heartbeat to be a SAHM!
    Here in SA if you want to have the normal life (two cars, nice house, educated children [optional]) you need two incomes, and my little tax business at home, and my little make-up sales business at home, don’t warrant me being a WAHM.
    I am very lucky to be blessed with amazing people in my family, a wonderful job where I’m appreciated, and a nanny that my daughter loves to pieces. Without those I wouldn’t cope. Ohh… and a Bible App on my phone, or I’d never get to spend quality time with my Father – we rock on in the car!

    • Avatar Dominiqueb says:

      Jen, I totally relate to you. Working moms love the Lord and love our kids too. I believe that I am where I am meant to be and the Lord has guided my steps to my current job. I’m also able to be a blessing to 2 families through employing a nanny for my baby. I just want to close by reminding folks that there isn’t only one way to pursue being a Mother and follower of Christ.

  • I’m a Mother.
    I had an uber-mother who prayed.
    I fall short, but
    I’m growing, praise God.
    Today at shop after getting new tires on car, lady walks in as I’m paying and asks, “School uniforms?” Yup. “What school?” oh, we homeschool. “That’s a job!” she says with appreciation, and I agree, yep, a good one! Thanks, Lord, for making it possible. Possible for me to be a mother, possible to homeschool, possible to go with the uniform idea.

  • Avatar monica says:

    I tweeted this. SO well said. Thanks!
    Aloha,

  • Avatar Jeana says:

    Instead of calling myself a “Stay at Home Mom” I prefer the title “Domestic Engineer”. After all, we don’t stay at home all that often. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    My Daughter has told me “I want to be a firefighter, well, first I want to be a mommy.” It makes me feel like she appreciates me.

    Thank you for this article!

  • My recent post, “Why in the World Would You Want to do That?” is about that topic. Phyllis

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  • Avatar Vincent Polanski says:

    That is well said. I should let my friends read this. They are already mothers yet they are not having their time for their children. Instead, hanging-out on malls with friends and other guys. Too bad they haven’t felt the motherhood in them yet. And they never learn that regret is always at the end.