3 Words That Will Transform You From a Grumpy To a Gracious Mom

by Kat on July 25, 2011 · 28 comments

Do you ever feel unsure about what to do when your children “barely” disobey?

Or when you’re in public and unable to fully deal with a situation right then?

Or when you’re uncertain of their intentions – it seems like they might be disobeying, but you want to give them the benefit of the doubt?

There are many times when I know some sort of action is required, but consequences seem a bit overboard or possibly unmerited.

This is when three little words help me immensely:

“Try it again.”

Kids need grace just as much as we do.

Perhaps they made a bad choice or had a bad attitude. But maybe it only seemed like it. Maybe they were just trying as hard as a 5 year old can.

“Try it again” is a wonderful way to diffuse a situation, extend grace and provide another opportunity to make the right decision.

I have bad days too and I know I appreciate that each sunrise speaks, “Try it again…”

Do you have any special phrases in your house that help you be a more gracious or patient mother?

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{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Mary July 25, 2011 at 8:23 am

Sometimes when I’m faced with disrespect and/or disobedience I will say “I love you too much to let you ________”. This seems to diffuse the situation and make them stop and think – even though I’m correcting them, they still know I’m doing it because I love them and know they’re capable of better!

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2 Dawn July 25, 2011 at 8:39 am

thank you.
i am imagining the scene and i can feel the grace seeping in.

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3 Tiffany (As For My House) July 25, 2011 at 8:49 am

Beautiful!!

…and timely! ;)

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4 Alexandra July 25, 2011 at 9:09 am

Thanks for this idea… I think it’s going to be very helpful.

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5 Heather July 25, 2011 at 9:26 am

Your 3 words r much more life-giving than my 3: “just stop it!”. ;) . Working on accepting Gods grace in my life and extending it to others. Thank you for a practical way to do that!

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6 Stacey July 25, 2011 at 9:40 am

Love this Kat! Simple to remember!

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7 Nohemi July 25, 2011 at 9:42 am

“It didn’t work as you expected, did it?”

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8 Betty July 25, 2011 at 9:48 am

With my daughter (now an adult), I’d say “get back in bed. Let’s start the day over”. She would get under the covers, after a minute I’d come in with a cheery “good morning!” even if it was after lunch, and that helped both her mood and mine.

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9 Anne @ Modern Mrs Darcy July 25, 2011 at 10:11 am

Love this, Kat. And the attitude behind it!

I usually sputter out some twenty-word version of “try it again”, like “was that really what you wanted to do/say? But your version is much more efficient. Converting immediately!

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10 KellySinging July 25, 2011 at 10:30 am

Ours is “do you want to say that again?” but it only applies to speech. I’m going to use yours for the actions. Love it! :)

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11 Zarya September 30, 2011 at 8:36 pm

Thanks alot – your answer solved all my problems after several days srugtgling

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12 Heather July 25, 2011 at 10:55 am

Love this! Good advice.

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13 Rose July 25, 2011 at 11:22 am

Our is ” get him please!!!”, lol!! We all stop what we’re doing and step away, the boys are trained and I always smile. It works for us.

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14 Phyllis Sather July 25, 2011 at 12:05 pm

I say – You just changed your mind, and everyone laughs.

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15 Jenni July 25, 2011 at 12:08 pm

Thank you for this! I’m a new mom and can use all the advice and suggestions I can get! :)

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16 Sonia Crawford July 25, 2011 at 12:20 pm

We like “Excuse Me?”.

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17 Christine July 25, 2011 at 2:10 pm

Great phrase! It’s so true that we often expect more of our kids than adults can regularly give. Grace is the key. I usually say, “I’ll give you one more chance to make a better choice.”

I once heard a story about a mom who got so frustrated with a child that kept repeating the same sin. Her husband looked at her and said, “So, let me ask you: when did YOU stop sinning?” Ouch!! Hit right where it hurt and I have remembered that ever since!!

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18 Anna July 25, 2011 at 2:12 pm

Oh I’m so thankful to hear someone else say that. I usually say “try again” when the tone is too sassy or the words aren’t kind. And after many, many opportunities for 3-year-old “try agains”, she almost always straightens things out the 2nd go round! What a wonderful post and a gentle reminder of how we can teach our children grace w/o letting them get away with disobedience!

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19 Stefanie Brown July 25, 2011 at 2:46 pm

Thank you!!! Much needed today…

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20 Larissa July 25, 2011 at 5:46 pm

well first I’m going to embrace YOUR three little words as a life motto!!
Thanks so much!!! you’ve just made my day :)

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21 Kari P. July 25, 2011 at 5:55 pm

Three little words that I use…”work it out”
It has really helped my 7 year and 9 year build their negotiation skills.

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22 Nadene July 26, 2011 at 3:42 am

What a refreshing phrase – filled with hope and positive expectations!
I wrote about using just 1 word which was very helpful training tool, but your phrase can be used in so many applications. Thanks for sharing.

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23 Kharie July 26, 2011 at 10:54 am

I believe in you because this is the most effective way in handling my 4 year-old daughter not to be so grumpy to her. The more I become strict, the more she wants to do bad moves.

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24 Lara July 27, 2011 at 5:23 am

“Whatever you do, don’t smile.” It always lightens the mood.

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25 Alice D July 28, 2011 at 9:51 pm

I’ll try this sometime, and if it doesn’t work I’ll just try it again. ;D

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26 Kathleen T. Jaeger July 28, 2011 at 11:05 pm

I love that “each sunrise says Try again.” Yes! Sometimes I am thankful for the end of the day and the do-over that tomorrow brings. What a good reminder that our children need grace, too.

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27 Angelica July 30, 2011 at 10:17 am

I never really notice this thing before with my 3 year old. But now after reading this I will definitely use this to let him learn from his mistakes.

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