Survivor: Suburbia – The Grocery Store with Children Challenge

By July 8, 2010General

I originally wrote this after a particularly…um…eventful trip to the grocery store when I only had two children. I’ve updated it now that I have three and thought you might enjoy my chaos.

Survivor: Suburbia

They should create a new season of Survivor called Survivor: Suburbia. Here’s how I imagine it would work.

It would only last 7 hours, from 6:00am when the participant is rudely awakened by a small body propelling itself onto theirs while yelling in an attempted whisper, “Mommy!!! Are yooouuu awwwaaaaakeee?!!!!”, to 1:00pm when the reward isn’t a million dollars, but rather a 2.5 hour nap.

A glorious, “I-would-lose-my-mind-if-my-kids-didn’t-take-a-2.5-hour-nap” nap.

The Grocery Store With Children Challenge

One of the challenges would be called The Grocery Store with Children challenge. The participants must shop for a list of 120 items arbitrarily written on a milk stained piece of scratch paper.

And an additional 30 items that must be remembered, but not written down.

The Participants

To prevent any harm to real children, participants are required to carry a slippery octupus (to simulate an infant), a deaf monkey, the howling kind (to simulate a toddler – who is apparently deaf to all parental commands), and a repetitive, inquisitive parrot who incessantly asks questions. Incessantly. With the questions. Repetitively. A lot. With the questions. Repetitively. (To represent a school age child).

They have to be carried and herded in from the back of the store parking lot because a car full of teenagers will take the only close up parking spot. The participant will have to carry 50 pounds of offspring and pull the remaining child by hand through an obstacle course of flying shopping carts and whizzing cars. Halfway to the store, it will begin to rain, and the participant will be required to return to the car for the green bags and sippy cups.

Selecting A Cart


Upon arriving inside the store, the now soggy participant needs to select a cart:

  • Option #1: Fun Car Cart – far too small to hold all 150 items needed from store, but may keep slippery octupus, howling, deaf monkey, and inquisitive parrot calm and relatively quiet while shopping.
  • Option #2: Limo Cart – It has a seat area on the front for two of the children (or in this case – primates, invertebrae or fowl), and it will hold all items needed on list. However, this cart is difficult to maneuver as it is about 47.3 feet long.
  • Option #3: Standard Cart – This cart offers a large basket as well as straps to help confine the participant’s monkey, parrot, and octupus, but said passengers, will be located in close proximity to the participant. Participant may be subject to physical protests from passengers in the event that passengers select an item from the store that is not on the list and must be returned to the shelf. Participant may be pecked, kicked, hit or sprayed with ink.

The Chaos Begins

Once the cart has been selected, the participant will begin shopping, at which point, the slippery octupus will extend all appendages, continually grab unwanted items, put them in the basket and knock everything else off the shelves.

Meanwhile the deaf, howling monkey will begin howling at 120 decibels. The inquisitive parrot will identify all sugar based food products and request that they be added to the list. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease? ‘Cuz you neeeever get them. Pleeeeeeeeeeease? Can we? Pleeeeeease?

Participant must be able to make wise financial and dietary purchases while attempting to contain the octupus, trying to minimize the sound level of the monkey, and explain to the inquisitive parrot – fiscal responsibility as it related to nutrition.

A smile and happy voice must be maintained through out the challenge.

The Challenge


Each participant is given three treats to use to alleviate the mischief of their animal passengers. Timing the use of these treats is crucial. Too early, and the participant is left without a bargaining chip. Too late and the “children’ may be past the point of appeasement. When the participant determines that the time is right, she pulls out a squid, banana and crackers to give to the appropriate animal.

Since all reality shows have a disgusting element and few children finish all of their snacks, both the octupus and howling, deaf monkey will return one third of their respective snacks for the participant to either:

  1. Carry for the remainder of the challenge.
  2. Or stuff in their pockets.

The Gauntlet of Fire

Finally, the participant will arrive at the checkout line – aka “The Gauntlet of Fire.” At this point, the slippery octupus will be feverishly reaching for M&M’s, Butterfingers, Reeses Pieces while knocking beef jerky and lip balm on the floor. The participant must replace all displaced items to their respective boxes and the octupus must be removed from the cart and held by the participant. In protest, the octupus will flail its appendages and then spray ink all over the participant’s clothes.

Meanwhile, the howling monkey will be ramping up to 150 decibels and the person in front of the participant will have 5 items needing a price check.

While holding the slippery octupus and attempting to mute the howling monkey, the participant must inconspicuously divert the attention of the repetitive (and literate) parrot away from the many magazine covers and their “interesting” headlines. This is done both to avoid loud repetition of the phrases contained on aforementioned magazine covers and to ensure there are no inquiries regarding meaning.

Again, participant must maintain a smile and happy voice.

The Winner

The winner of The Grocery Store with Children Challenge will be the participant who emerges from the store – sane and with three living and unharmed animals.

Groceries…optional.

Do you grocery shop with or without your kids?

Leave a Comment

Comments

62 Comments

  • mrs doodle says:

    ha ha that is too funny. Okay I am a bad mom and always tell my daughter (2 1/2) that all of those annoying HUGE buggies are broken. Yea I do. She still believes me and it makes my shopping experience so much easier. She now likes to sit in the big part of the cart… doesn’t make it easy when I have a lot of things to get but she is good so I don’t complain too much. My husband LOVES to go grocery shopping with her so they usually go and I stay at home with the baby. He of course lets her have any buggy she wants if she is good for him. They have a whole system that he says works great. I wonder when she will get that the buggies aren’t broke when daddy brings me but they are when mommy brings me?! lol Anyways… I am a lucky duck to have a hubby that likes to do that chore for me most of the time and take the toddler to boot:) Going right now to tell him I love him:)

    BTW I so love this site. I have recommended it to everyone I know! Keep up the awesome work!

  • Stephanie says:

    Most of time I shop with, but occasionally get to go solo. I have twins and wear one on my back and put the other in the cart. I refuse to use the big carts, unless I have forgotten my ergo.

  • Joyce says:

    too too funny!!! i hate shopping in any form, so hubby takes up that responsibility. he takes the older one with him. sometimes just himself. i’ve done the 2 girls by myself a few times, but he could never take the 2 solo. =p
    .-= Joyce´s last blog ..Summer Blog Break =-.

  • Emma says:

    This is too funny! I don’t think we have those large carts here.
    Reminds me why I do my groceries alone ๐Ÿ™‚ I had #2 a few months ago and have either had delivery, or gone on my own since. I would make crazy buying-decisions with kids in tow!

  • Tressa says:

    Yes, I go grocery shopping with my fabulous four-everytime… It’s sometimes insane…but I notice people sort of move outta my way when they see me coming! LOL

    This is the way I see it- its part of my job to get the groceries- so Im okay with doing it with the kids. I would much rather use a friend or babysitter while I go on a date or get a pedicure than when I shop for groceries.

    But I do notice, especially after going through Financial Peace University, that I could make better decisions about the products I buy if I could research and compare a bit better. But with four kids in tow, We’re like a freight train!
    .-= Tressa´s last blog ..DJs TBall Game =-.

  • Cori says:

    I’m a freight train of four all under age 8. You can’t forget the diaper blowouts and forgetting the diaper bag in the car, and then as soon as you clean it all up and get back in the aisle the toddler HAS to pee. And of course the ice cream in your cart is totally melted by then…
    .-= Cori´s last blog ..on our way =-.

  • Tara says:

    I have a variety of options…
    Online shopping, shop with mum, shop when one or two of the children are at school… or shop with two or three children.

    That’s probably order of preference too.
    .-= Tara´s last blog ..Quiet Time This Morning =-.

  • Monica says:

    Thanks for the laugh! I totally tell new mom’s to have snack bags packed, a small, distracting, special toy (I reserved it only for shopping days), and never go before nap time!!! I would either go very early or after lunch. If I go hungry I always want to buy everything insight…right…I think kids are the same way. When we got to bathroom stage–we surprised tinkled RIGHT when we got into the store…then I knew I had 30ish minutes until they had to go again! When they got to chatty stage, I broke it up with technology! A God send! Leapster was in my bag for EVERY trip to the store! They would totally sit and play it and I would speed through the store. When they moved to wanting to WALK–4 and 5 year olds…we would start in the cart and sing silly songs…then they would help me find the things we still had left on the list and we still played the leapster. I think the point to every successful outing is to have a plan! Kids are so much more fun when they are happy!

  • Leigh says:

    Oh my goodness, Kat! That is a riot! My husband never gets how relaxing shopping by myself is… I would love to send him just once with our 2 boys and see how he fares!

  • Jen says:

    This is hilarious, and so true. I have a 1 and 3 year old boy. I love, love, love to go grocery shopping by myself. It is the biggest treat of my week.

  • Leslie says:

    I loved this! I have a toddler and 1 yr old, and have gone by myself occasionally, but felt like I was going insane. My husband knows how hard it is for me to go alone, so we usually make it a family trip. It gives us family time, plus we get our shopping done!

    But I like that idea of going prepared…..sounds like it would be a little bit easier….

  • Tina2mr says:

    This is oh too good. My two children are 9 1/2 years apart so taking them to the store with me was full of joy. the oldest picking on the baby (who of course wanted this and that, and couldn’t understand why her brother got to walk beside the cart and she was stuck in the cart). and my son not liking that fact that he had to stay with his mom and baby sister (how embarrassing if his friends were to see him now).

  • reba says:

    I have 4 boys all under age 7. yes, yes I do. ๐Ÿ™‚ I always take them shopping with me! It does get a tiny bit easier after you do it for awhile, because they know what you expect of them. The fourth child added in there is like one of those lizards that has the frill around his head that runs over the sand all crazy fast with their legs flailing about. Yeah. I make him be the man who puts stuff in the cart (when I tell him and only when I tell him) so that he doesn’t run around the aisles. Ha. I’ve just had to get over the fact that we are a circus. I used to be embarrassed but now I see how good it is for other people to see how a big family works! It’s awesome!

    • Tara says:

      That’d be a frill-necked lizard. ๐Ÿ™‚
      .-= Tara´s last blog ..Quiet Time This Morning =-.

    • Heidi says:

      I shop with my 3 (5, 6 & 8 now) too & always have. I agree it gets easier as they get used to it. A lot of people (even friends) think I’m crazy, but I really enjoy doing those things with them (although I do go crazy sometimes:)). I homeschool too, so they’re pretty much with me all the time anyway:)

    • Selena says:

      And as my husband says, it’s a great teaching opportunity for me. Teaching our children how to behave in public, what’s appropriate, etc. I usually allow mine to play with all the little toys once we get to the check-out aisle because they never rip anything open, know that it’s a privilege and usually come when I tell them it’s time to go. (We also have four 7 and under!)

  • Sara M. says:

    I, too, have 4 monsters at home from age 9 down to 3. Most of the time I go alone at night when my husband’s home from work (he gets his alone, video game time – he doesn’t mind), but here and there, I do have to cart all 4 with me. I go alone because being on a tight grocery budget, it helps me to focus on making sound decisions rather than impulsive ones. I also never go without a list and try to shop only from the list. Occasionally stuff gets left off. I actually add my groceries on a calculator so I don’t get anxiety about possibly overspending my cash supply (I once arrived at the checkout and had $100 more groceries than I had money).

    We have the car carts at some stores by us, and one or two I know of have the “limo” carts. The car carts always start arguments about who can and can’t sit in them, so I try to avoid those. The boys always try to climb on top of them anyway, which isn’t safe.

    A few weeks back, my husband and I went on a short shopping trip together during the day. It actually went rather well. He took one cart for the 3 boys and piled them in. I took the other with my daughter who read me the shopping list. She actually is quite helpful most of the time.When we had everything we needed, he hauled the boys out to the van while my daughter and I checked out.

    I also understand the bathroom comments too. So, I try to curb that by making a trip to the bathroom right when we get in so that my trip isn’t interrupted in the middle. My 7 year old one time decided one time that right after going #1 that he had to return to the bathroom to go #2. Really, he can’t realize that when he was in there just two minutes ago? Ugh!

  • Stephanie says:

    That was HILARIOUS and so true!

  • LaToya says:

    I usually don’t take my kiddos with me when I go to the grocery store for big shopping. I have very little time to get it done (usually in between classes and errands). I do take them with me for quick stops. We go to the bakery and get a free cookie for them to munch on. And then I usually give them each something to look for, or let them put it the cart to try and keep them calm. The real challenge for me is trying to get everyone and everything in the house and put away.
    .-= LaToya´s last blog ..Summer Devotions Challenge 2010 =-.

  • Angela says:

    Oh so true! I probably look like that. LOL!

  • This is so funny!! I love the reading of the headlines part, uggh, that was one negative of my kids to learning to read. I find myself trying to subtly stand in front of the gossip magazines while we wait in line. ๐Ÿ™‚

    And yes, I do take all 3 kids to the store sometimes but always take at least the “octopus”. I hate shopping on the weekends and the evenings so the only way to get it done is with kids. Luckily, I love grocery shopping! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Kristina says:

    Is it possible for all 3 animals to be in one little 4 year old body?? I shop every other week, so get a buggy FULL of food. My daughter will go through EVERY emotion and phase while we are there. Happy and willing to help, sad and begging for cookies, mad and grabbing stuff, then fussy (and its time to get out of there!!)
    This made me laugh, sounds like a good challenge. I would PAY to see a challenge like this! I would not sign up for it, though ๐Ÿ™‚ I’d just enjoy the laugh of the chaos that is sure to happen!!

  • Jane says:

    This made me laugh outloud. So true – but I think we need one more animal. Not sure what animal would work for this – but we need the getting the mad child buckled into the car seat/grocery seat (the 2 1/2 year old who makes his/her body stiff as a board so it won’t bend).

    I have a 6 year old & 2 year old twins & I try to go without them (at night when my husband is home). Though I do appreciate the tips above from the other moms & will have to try them the next time I do have to take them.

    For myself I’ve found that I am a nicer Mom (yell less, less stressed, etc) if I don’t have to take them shopping!

  • Erin says:

    funny stuff. I feel like this. I agree – I make better food/financial decisions without kids, so I try to make the big trips alone. But, sometimes, we all go (4 y.o., 2 y.o. and 6 mo.).

    I have realized that most errands/events outside of our home are better when #1 I am prepared and #2, I try not to be stressed! My kids pick up on my stress level, and so I’ll just fake being peaceful, slow down and quiet my words and actions, and they often respond really well.

  • Kelly says:

    This is hilarious!

    I usually take my two and I can’t get through without using the fire truck cart, most times. Thankfully, I have not had any crazy experiences, but the experience is certainly enough to frazzle any mom with littles at least half of the time!

  • Stacey says:

    I couldn’t stop laughing while I read this post. Absolutely hilarious. So many memories came to my mind as I try to navigate the store with my nearly 3 year old twins. One of my favorite memories is them realizing they could open the bins at the health food store…quite chaotic as I was running from 1 twin to the other to not touch the bins. And we use the 47.3 foot shopping cart; it’s a beast to push around but they love it. Thanks for giving me a good laugh this afternoon!

  • Susan says:

    OH MY GOSH! Even sleep deprived I got all the humor and almost wet myself! I have older children 17, 13, 9 – so it has been a long time since I have had to shop with little ones, but we were just blessed to receive a newborn foster baby two weeks ago, so now I am back in the “hurry run out while he is sleeping in the car seat and hope he doesn’t wake up” stage! You are a great writer, Kat!

  • daniella says:

    One time, I did all this while wearing wedges…15 minutes before lunchtime when my sugar level was running low and I forgot to bring along the baby backpack (carrier) to contain the octopus. I think about half the items in my cart were opened while my lil chickens (octopus and monkey) were munching on everything. I’m a new mom. Not sure how long I can get away with that excuse.

    Good post, Kat! I heart you.

  • Trisha says:

    Normally my husband shops or we go together with just the octopus. But yesterday I had all three animals on my own and a double stroller and a hand basket balanced on top somehow.

    On the way home I was feeling incompetent รขโ‚ฌโ€ even thigh they all behaved quite well. I was thinking that all the other mothers just take it in their stride while I find it a logistical nightmare.

    Reading this was a relief!
    .-= Trisha´s last blog ..Are you struggling to choose a great colour scheme for your website =-.

  • Katrina says:

    I avoided the race car carts for as long as I could. My dear husband, however, popped my two boys (3 and 1 at the time into one) – and now they love them. I still avoid them. I DO shop with my boys, now 4 and 2; as often as possibl, my elder still rides somewhere in/on the cart.

    I still laugh about the “Family Friendly” signs at the grocery store. Sure, there are not tabloids/magazines, but it would be much more friendly without all the candy/gadgety stuff for my little velcro-handed boys to nab. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Gabrielle says:

    Love this post!

    I’m a mom of two, an 18 month old and one in the womb. I always take my daughter to the store because it’s more fun for both of us. But I worry that it’ll get a lot harder with two! However, I really do think it’s important to take the kids shopping. It’s part of training them to behave (now) and training them to meal plan and shop smart when they’re older. But will I be saying that in a year? I don’t know!!

  • Sam says:

    This made me laugh. I can totally Identify with it, having 3 in about the same stages. Typically I do take them shopping but LOVE it when I don’t have too. I typically put my youngest(16 months) on my back in the Ergo or he gets the cart to himself(since I refuse to use car carts…but I will use the Target limos since I find them easier to steer then the car carts). The older two(3 and 5) must hold onto the cart unless I tell them they can walk without it. The best tool I have is the free cookie from the bakery…keeps all 3 of them busy for enough time to get at least half of my shopping done. The older two are also starting to get more helpful if I let them so I’m working on giving them jobs to do to help the time pass more easily.

  • Charlotte says:

    This is hilarious. Although, having been attempting this challenge and over the years increasing from 3 to 6 passengers (I supposed you could add a puppy running up and down the aisles and a sulky sloth who thinks they should have been old enough to stay home), there is a fatal flaw in the plan. It is not possible to leave the store anywhere close to sane.

  • Lee says:

    Totally funny! How many times have I been in the check out line with many half eaten but totally slobbered samples and didn’t know what to do with them until I got home? And what about those baby bottle candies at the check out line that my 3 yr old tries to suck on? There should be a bonus to the challenge: once home from the store, the participant must make dinner!

  • Ashley says:

    I STRONGLY detest any kind of shopping, especially with children in tow. I have gotten to the point of having my entire shopping trip planned from beginning to end (including coupons in order and ready to hand to the cashier before leaving the house) in order to avoid as much chaos as possible.
    .-= Ashley´s last blog ..We have a winner- =-.

  • Mindy says:

    I sometimes shop with my 3 – they’re good, but it’s hard for a total of 4 people to get through the aisles. If they are in front, they tend to get bumped by the cart, in back they get bumped by others, and if they are walking beside me we take up the whole aisle. I’m still waiting for drive-thru grocery stores to be invented……we have them for everything else!!

  • Tarah says:

    Oh my! So true. To add to the mix, I took my three young children plus a little girl I was taking care of and stuck them in one cart (on of the big ones with extra seats) and pulled another cart behind me with groceries. I also had to keep track of store coupons and our wic coupons we use each week.
    I got alot of comments and thankfully the trip wasn’t as bad as it could have been!

  • Emily says:

    Hilarious! I only have two, but you nailed my weekly trip to Publix perfectly! The “limos” have been the cart of choice lately and inevitibly my 3 yr old will abandon her seat after 1 aisle, leaving me to herd her and fanagle the monstrosity on wheelsith my wailing infant!

  • Kimberly says:

    Hilarious. Currently I only have the octopus and howling monkey. Well, the octopus is quickly turning into the monkey and the monkey is beginning to be the parrot, but you get the idea.

    Am re-tweeting this.

  • Michele says:

    I also have 4 between the ages of 9 and 2. I always go shopping with them. I nearly peed myself reading this because I have been there so many times. I have learned through trial and error to delegate to the eldest the potty breaks for the littler ones and I split my list up and give the older two “missions” to go and get me groceries and put them in the cart for me. The only distraction I bring with me is milk for the 2 year old. They know that, “we don’t buy toys in a grocery store, we only buy food in a grocery store.” “we don’t eat refined sugar, so don’t ask me” “don’t pick up ANYTHING unless I ask you to” “your reward for helping me shop without fighting and causing a scene is one small treat to be determined at the END of the shopping trip”. This seems to work for us. My eldest actually looks forward to shopping now. They can bring their own money if there is something in particular they would like to buy. That helps alot too.

  • Olivia says:

    We’re howling over here! Been there and all that has happened to me. I’m the momma who stuffs the half-eaten banana in her purse and forgets about it for a few weeks!

  • Rob O. says:

    Sheesh, it’s like you’ve been right there in the shopping cart with us on grocery runs! All of this is why I sneak off to the store at 6 A.M. on Saturdays while the rest of the house (world?) is sleeping. I get back home and unload the plunder just in time to make coffee & breakfast, so noone is the wiser that’ve gone & come back.

    Yup, I’m like a ninja version of grocery shopper.

    Same goes for laundry – somehow there’s always clean towels & scivvies, but nobody ever knows when or how I get the washing done.
    .-= Rob O.´s last blog ..Scream- Wilhelm- Scream! =-.

  • Katie Hernandez says:

    This is great! I love it! So so so true. I try to go without my 4 children, but sometimes I can’t avoid it.

  • […] Survivor: Suburbia รขโ‚ฌโ€œ The Grocery Store with Children Challenge […]

  • 7 yr, 5 yr and 5 month old girls here. Totally relate to the “Because you NEVER buy these” comment. UGH. I like to do the shopping when Husband is home and I can go blissfully alone. After stopping at Starbucks.

    I have also thought that Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs should do an episode of being a stay at home mom of 3 or more children. Never fails when it’s time to pick up the girls from school, I will have to wake up the baby and then find myself up to my elbows in poop. Having walked through an obstacle course of stuffed animals, dirty clothes, and scraps of paper from all the crafting.

  • Laurie says:

    This totally cracked me up! My 3yo is my inquisitive parrot (who thankfully has learned to ask “Mommy, why is he in a wheelchair?” and other such question in a whisper!) and my 15mo would be a combination–she’s a howling octopus ;). Yesterday at check out the cashier asked me if she was the baby they heard all the way at the back of the store. Thankfully, it’s not usually because she’s fussy. She just “talks” loudly–very loudly! I have actually walked around the store with two carts–especially when my youngest was still in her infant carrier. You definitely can’t have an infant carrier, a toddler, and groceries all in one cart! I always do my shopping by myself with my kids. It is a very rare thing if DH tags along—and usually results in a longer, more expensive trip!

  • Jenn says:

    I can totally relate to this. I have (and shop with) a 5 yr old, 4 yr old and a 2 yr old. I do occasionally get to bring my 15 yr old son who antagonizes the others and make the trip so much more fun. Adding coupons to the mix really helps. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Karen says:

    well it has been a long time for me, the eldest is 22 now. But way back then, the fun carts didn’t exist. I only had 2, and wore one in a backpack. The other one had a pictoral checklist of things she liked to look for and she had to find them. Oh, and we always walked down the center of the aisle so arms could not reach and went at off times so the store was not so full. My DH was deployed,so it was just us and the kids were younger than school aged so our schedules were our own.
    Now my last and youngest child is 8 and has many allergies. For the last 2 years, he has been reading all the labels. If he finds something that has none of his 25 allergies and he is interested in trying it, we will buy it. He can correctly read out loud all those unpronouncable ingredients…lol.
    The hardest to shop with is the husband, at 6’2″ his octopus arms reach any & everything and he has a major sweet tooth. He puts more in the basket than the kids ever did and since he drives, he stops at the store whenever he wants. He goes in for milk and comes out with 3 bags of junk food…

  • chloe says:

    ….may I just say? This is brilliant. A friend posted this on Facebook, and I laughed so hard that I considered it my abs workout for the day. Thank you!

  • Danielle says:

    Bwahahaha! Perfectly sums up my shopping experience! I have a 3 year old, a 2 year old and a 7 month old. Love love LOVE this ๐Ÿ˜‰ fact truly is funnier than fiction!

  • Meesh says:

    Costco/Sams Club seems to be a level of Dante’s Inferno when having a toddler and an infant. My most favorite time was when I let my daughter who was 3 have some of the endless arrays of samples to keep her quiet while trying to load insanely large flats of goods in the cart with an infant papoosed to my front. The blue ribbon was looming in front of us when out of nowhere, toddler vomit out the front of the limo cart. All people behind us in the checkout line could have killed a legion of underwater sea life quicker than an oil spill with the looks on their faces. lol

  • I love this! I must say I remember the days well when my boys were young. Now my boys are old enough to stay home by themselves. A couple of weeks ago I had to take all three to Wal-Mart. I foolishly thought things would be completely different. I WAS WRONG!!! I still had people everywhere giving us a wide-berth as I tried to wrangle my boys and get the things on my list. It doesn’t matter if they are 4 or 14, I would rather have a root-canal than take all my boys to the store!

  • Jenica says:

    You forgot to add in 20 coupons that you must tediously verify the correct brand, price match to make sure it’s lower than the store brand and keep the toddler from pulling out and loosing the coupons the whole trip!

    Very funny, I have three kids myself, your descriptions were perfect!!

  • Mishka B says:

    This is hilarious! I shop with kids. I regularly don’t get everything on the list and always feel like crawling under a bush by the end of it!!!

  • hilarious!!! thanks for the laughs!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • A few years ago, just as my son was learning to talk and had also discovered balloons (which he for some unknown reason called “boomba’s”), I took him to the grocery store. All he said (yelled excitedly, happily) for the entire time, a little over an hour if memory serves, every. single. time. he saw a balloon…including the sad shriveled ones, and the ones that had “gotten away” and were up in the rafters…was “boomba!! Momma, boomba!!” He had to have said boomba at least a thousand times on that relatively short trip. It was so “bad” that a lady we kept passing, because we were heading in opposite directions down each and every aisle, actually sighed and groaned audibly (nice, right?) on one pass. Now that he is bigger, I do let him ride in the back of the basket, even though it is strongly not suggested. Hubby will NOT let him do that because the basket has that little warning on it. I will also occasionally let him ride in one of the kiddy baskets, though anyone who is around me has to watch out for their safety because I have been known to misjudge the length and run over people.

  • Charlotte says:

    I laughed so hard tears ran down my face, and I had to stop reading just to catch my breath! I don’t know the last time I’ve laughed that hard. Thank you SO much for that cathartic laugh! I have three children, ages 2, 4 and 6. I always shop with them from the time they’re newborns, because my husband has crazy work hours and night work. Usually mine are totally fine, but there have definitely been times like the one above!

  • […] we embark on this lesson, here’s a post I wrote after a particularly stressful shopping trip. If you’ve ever been shopping with […]

  • Bethany says:

    That IS SO FUNNY! I was laughing out loud with almost every line!!! I have three children, and I NEVER, I mean NEVER take them all shopping together…mostly because I’m concerned about public safety and practicality and because I just CANNOT THINK when I’m holding an octopus, tuning out a howling monkey and saying NO, not today to the parot’s demands…seriously! I found a new mommy break for me…get up really early, leave my children at home with daddy and hit the grocery store ALONE…grab ONLY what I need for the week and therefore go ONCE A WEEK and actually look forward to it. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Rebekah says:

    Your story is funny, but oh so true sometimes. I have 6 kids and they range from 9yrs to 3yr old twins. I have to shop with my kids (all of them) most of the time, but it is sooo nice and non-stressful when I get to go by myself on occasion.