Real Motherhood: The Things I Don’t Want You To Know About Me

By June 10, 2010General

YES, I REALIZE THAT’S A FRIGHTENINGLY DORKY PICTURE

(I wrote a version of this post on my personal site a year or two ago, but I think after 4 months of writing here at I2A about the things I’m good at, it’s time to make sure you know that there are lots of things I stink at. So here’s my updated version…)

25 Things I DON’T Want You To Know About Me

I know that in the world of blogging (and Facebook) it’s so easy to just show the world the good stuff.

“I run races with my kids!”

“I get up at 5:30am!”

“I’m a fun mom!”

And it’s easy, when reading about other people, to think, “Wow. They eat all organic foods, have a family fun night EVERY night, homeschool, take European vacations, wear the latest fashions, go on family mission trips, run marathons together, make their own all-natural cleaning supplies and have never forgotten their kid at school. I’m such a loser.”

But it’s important to remember that no one is perfect. We all have stuff we don’t blog about.

MY LIST

So, I thought I’d make a list of “25 Things (I Don’t Want You To Know) About Me.”

1. I once FORGOT TO PICK MY DAUGHTER UP FROM SCHOOL (oh yes. I did.).

2. Sometimes I do (or have my kids do) goofy things just so I can blog about it.

3. I look for attention too much. (See #2)

4. I sneak candy when my kids aren’t watching.

5. My ceiling fans all have a decorative layer of fuzz.

6. I often stay up way too late. (2011 update: I don’t do this much anymore. So let me replace it with this pathetic fact: I have been known to “borrow” from my kids’ Jelly Belly stash.)

7. When I walk past store windows, I pretend I’m looking at their stuff, but I’m usually looking at myself (Is my hair ok? Do I need to suck my tummy in? Do I look cool in these sunglasses?).

8. When reading a blog post with a scripture passage in it, I often skip over it.

9. I eat frosting from a can. With a spoon.

10. I don’t floss regularly.

11. I fall asleep during my morning time with God. (Just for a “minute”)

12. I check Facebook during my morning time with God. (Real “quick”)

13. I check my email during my morning time with God. (Real “quick”)

14. Checking email, Facebook and napping never happen as “quickly” as I plan.

15. I’m usually late.

16. While the kids are awake, my house is a mess.

17. I get frustrated with my kids. Daily. Hourly sometimes.

18. I rarely send birthday cards or gifts on time.

19. I don’t want to be an overseas missionary.

20. I have no idea how to use a semicolon.

21. I’m having trouble coming up with 25 things I don’t want you to know that I’m still willing to tell you.

22. Cleaning my house for guests often includes stuffing things (usually laundry) in my closet.

23. I pout.

24. I look at my blog stats too much.

25. I’m so bad at laundry (see #22) that my kids know to look for socks in the basket in my room.

There you go. 25 things I’m not very proud of.

THE CHALLENGE

You probably have things that you’re not proud of either. So here’s the challenge. Let’s live our lives honestly and openly but in a way that results in daily, monthly and yearly change.

A couple years ago “I don’t have a daily time of prayer and Bible reading” would have been on my list. But that changed. Granted it’s not always perfect (see 11-13) , but I show up and it gets richer each time.

Lately, I’ve been working hard on letting God teach me how to be patient and I’ve seen drastic changes. I’m not perfect, but I’m growing…

Perhaps next year I’ll learn how to use a semicolon or be faithful about sending cards and gifts. (2011 update: As I look over this list many of these things are in the process of becoming untrue. I hope I’ll have to make an entirely new list by next year!)

YOUR TURN

What is something you’ve recently knocked off your list?

Leave a Comment

Comments

52 Comments

  • denise says:

    something tells me that we would get along in “real life” my 25 are very similar to yours. I especially always say “real quick”.

  • LaDonna says:

    Great list! I am thinking about taking your challenge and writing mine on my blog.
    .-= LaDonna´s last blog ..My Giveaway is posted here!!!! =-.

  • mindy says:

    My list could go on and on……

    1) I’m addicted to sugar….can’t stop once I start
    2) Way less patience with my kids than I’d like
    3) I have piles and PILES of stuff sitting around my house right now
    4) I spend alot of time reading blogs, checking FB, etc
    Glad I’m in good company!!

  • Leslie says:

    Great post! πŸ™‚ Here are some of mine:

    1. I am very impatient with my 4 yr old
    2. My house is always a mess when the kids are awake
    3. I spend WAY to much time mindlessly surfing the web, but especially on facebook
    4. I’m addicted to caffeine
    5. I love reading about other’s cleaning schedule more than I actually do mine

    Of course it doesn’t stop there but this isn’t my blog, LOL.

  • Stephanie says:

    This is really hard to do. It’s sad that I feel safe doing on the internet though. *sigh*

    1. I’m incredibly impatient with my son.
    2. I sneak food into the house and hide it and don’t share it with anyone, but not because I don’t want to share-it’s so they don’t know I eat this crap.
    3. I just paid $20,000 of credit card debt off, and then I used my credit card to buy a shirt. What’s up with that?
    4. I avoid skinny women.

    Ugh…I’m not sure this made me feel better.

  • Kim says:

    Somehow everyone else’s list makes me feel better about my own. Not sure if that’s good or bad. πŸ˜‰ Leslie, I love your #5. I was on Flickr yesterday looking at pics of organized pantries, fully aware that my own would never be that nice!

    Here’s the latest that I’ve added to my list: I once made brownies for the family and ate all but three pieces. Within 24 hours. With no one looking.

  • Nina says:

    1. I yell a lot more than I would like and then get mad that my son is so loud
    2. I am terrible at meal planning and let my son tell me what he wants (everyone is all “you should not be a restaurant blah blah blah”
    3. I hate washing floors…I can go a long LONG time without doing so
    4. I just got a puppy for my son – I’m super poor right now like destitute poor but beyond that think it is the best decision I’ve made in a long long time
    5. I’m pretty no REALLY bad with budgeting – my budgeting consists more of juggling bills
    6. I lost of lot of weight before getting pregnant doing low carb and no sugar – now my son is 2.5 and I weigh more than I did pregnant (granted he was born early and only weighed 3.14 lb when born) I keep telling myself I’ll stop sugar…after today
    7. I take my son to mcd’s far more than I should and let him watch more tv than he should
    8. I skip lots of the religious stuff in most of the blogs I read too
    9. I avoid reading blogs that have a hard to read setup
    10. I let my son chose chocolate as a meal more than I should and go to sleep so so late and he still sleeps with me and is still nursing ;P

    ok now Im’ going to stop cause I feel worse doing this.

  • Christy says:

    i am relatively new to your blog, but i really appreciate your thoughts. especially this post. it’s such a good reminder that bloggers are real people! i never send birthday cards, or gifts, on time, and i am always late. i have learned that the oven makes a great place for stashing dirty dishes that i can’t get done before company comes over. (just don’t forget them there and turn the oven on later, especially if there’s any tupperware inside!)

  • Christy says:

    one more…my floors are dirty. i mean D.I.R.T.Y. and i have a baby who crawls all over them. and i’m a germ freak. (i know, bad combo.) and this week i caught the baby eating dirty off the floor. and she started kind of gagging on a crumb of it, but rather than fish it out of her mouth i gave her a sippy cup of water to help her wash it down. i’m shuddering again just thinking about it. so there you have it. πŸ™‚

  • Diana says:

    Uh, I’m with Kat, what do I feel I don’t want folks to know but still feel safe enough to tell about myself?
    1. I’m a reforming slob.
    2. I looove organizational sites, books, and tips.
    3. I love reading people’s schedules and cleaning routines. I glean a little from each one and apply some of it to my little home.
    4. I stay in my basement (our office, laundry and dining is down there) most of the day only to realize I forgot about the mess upstairs…
    5. I used to really dislike my dd, but since following this blog, I have spent more time with her, and wow, she’s a great kid! I now looove spending time with her, to the chagrin of my sometimes neglected home.
    6. I’m a book worm, and once I start one, I simply can’t put it down.
    7. Although I dislike cleaning in itself, I am an obsessive compulsive perfectionist. I plan much, do little, and it’s all because I don’t think I have time to do it ‘right’. Why bother doing something half way, right?
    8. I hope none of you ever meet me in real life because I’m afraid you’d think I’m too much of a slob.
    9. I love having people around, and entertaining, but hate the mess!
    10. I love going out to eat, not because I’m a food junkie, but because I don’t have to clean up afterward.
    11. I’m usually late, but hate being so.
    There. I think this all makes for a contradictory mess, but it’s me! LOL! I’m so glad I’m not the only one out there!

  • Andrea says:

    Oh my!! I laughed so hard on some of these because that is SOOOO me.
    Something I have always been bad at doing is sending out birthday cards to family. This year I made it a goal and so far I am DOING IT!! woohoo!
    Does my family really care if they get a card in the mail………I would think not. But it sure feels good to say “I DO send out cards to my family on their birthday” when I have been so poor at it for YEARS.

    Fun post!

  • Amanda says:

    I’m laughing at Christy, because my son is also at the eating-crud-off-the-floor stage…I scrub our floors twice a week, and they’re still cruddy/filthy because they’re a VERY high traffic area and we have a small house. This week he sneezed at random while in his carrier and a bunch of non-food particles flew out of his mouth over my shoulder.
    My confessions:
    1. I spend a LOT of time mentally composing and editing my facebook status, so that it’s funny/ironic or really esoteric and smart-looking….at least, I think so.
    2. I’m pretty good about not buying sweets/junk food at the grocery store; then I get sugar cravings at home and “bake cookies for my husband” just so I can eat the dough. And I eat A LOT of it.
    3. My son is 10 months old. If I’d spent the time I’ve spent snacking doing crunches instead, I would not have had to buy a new swimming suit today. I’d have a six pack….or at least, a waist! But I don’t.

  • Sara says:

    Kat- thanks so much for your comment on my blog. I was quite surprised to see it there! Your list made me laugh. I too would not like to be an overseas missionary and just 2 years ago learned how to use a semi-colon because I had to teach it to my ninth grade English class! Good thing I’m not in the profession anymore…

  • Keilah says:

    Wow! That pretty much sums it up for me too.
    Nina, I nursed my son until he was three and my kids both come into our bed at some point of the night too.
    1. I don’t let my daughter play on the computer because I am on FB or emailing.
    2. I do not floss except the week before seeing the dentist.
    3. I expect a lot from my kids and they are only 5 and 3.
    4. I get very frustrated with my husband’s clutter but feel attacked when he tries to clean up the house.
    5. I don’t like to have people help me because I know they won’t do it right but complain in my head that I do not get any help.
    6. I get on my husband if he buys stuff but I do not always tell him if I buy something.
    The list could go on and I would not post these things on my blog because my MIL would see it and I don’t want her opinion on it.

    How’s that for honest!
    .-= Keilah´s last blog ..#9 on the List, Done! =-.

  • Kelly says:

    Keilah,
    I totally agree w/ your list!!! especially the ones about your hubby. I’m the same way.
    isn’t it great to know we’re all NORMAL???
    Praise God for His patience & grace with us, & for giving us amazing children (& for some of us, husbands) who accept us & love us despite our lists!
    so, to be fair, here’s just SOME of the things that are on my list:
    1. I have a MAJOR struggle w/ jealousy, especially w/ “those mom’s” who have it all together (patience, organization, healthy eating, etc etc)
    2. my house is ALWAYS a mess, whether my children are asleep or awake.
    3. I just started letting my 9 month old “cry it out” at times. I think I’m the meanest mom ever.
    4. I tell others to Trust God, when really, I need to work on that myself.
    5. Our bedroom is one big laundry basket. Clean or Dirty, the clothes are there, but rarely put away.
    6. When we have company, I apologize for “the mess” after having just run around like a mad woman to try to make my house presentable.
    7. I fish for compliments.

    • Keilah says:

      Kelly,
      Amen! God is so good and His mercies are new every morning and I cling to it! BTW no mom really has it all together all the time. I used to live in OC and it seemed like that at every park. God definitely is working on each of us in different ways. What might be easy for one mom is the stumbling block for another. πŸ™‚
      .-= Keilah´s last blog ..Giveaway, Grads and Good Stuff! =-.

    • Jane says:

      Kelly,
      I’m happy to know I’m not the only one who lives under a mound of laundry…. clean and dirty! And I do #6 ALL THE TIME!!! I hate when people just drop in and I can’t squeeze in the mad woman routine! Thanks so much!

  • Julia says:

    I couldn’t resist coming here to see your list after you mentioned it at Steady Mom. Most things I can relate to except that: 1) I chose the electronic distractions over devotions and 2) I would rather live overseas again than be here in the land of plenty. One of my worst fears is that I am becoming that minivan-driving soccer mom….
    .-= Julia´s last blog ..Top Ten Reasons to Turn Off the Computer =-.

    • Kat says:

      Julia,
      Well thanks for stopping by! I too fear becoming a minivan driving soccer mom. Oh, wait. I AM a minivan driving soccer mom. Crikey!

      I need to go get a nosering or something…

  • Chels says:

    Honesty– I love it! All bloggers have a (mental) list like yours. Mine’s probably twice as long; 4, 6, 15, 17, & 24 would be included. Did I use that semicolon right? Anyway, it’s nice to get a breathe of fresh air while blogging. Some days it feels like we all live in a fantasy blogland! I’m adding your post to my ‘I’m not the only blogger…’ post!
    .-= Chels´s last blog ..10 Black-and-White Printable Paper Dolls =-.

  • […] bought the goldfish vanilla flavored ones with the high fructose corn syrup….I was inspired by this awesome blog to share with you today things I stink at, or wouldn’t be so proud to share. My, aren’t we a proud people? I know I am, and can […]

  • […] in the spirit of full disclosure, here is my list of things that I don’t want you to know about […]

  • […] post was inspired by a forum thread and blog post (here and here). One poster commented that maybe this exercise is theraputic, and maybe we just want people to […]

  • Widge says:

    Hi I’ve just come across your blog and OH HOW I RELATE to soooo many of those things!! haha…does that make them all ok now?? ;)…and I only use the semi colon for winky smiley faces like this πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰
    that is a semi colon right?

  • Alyssa says:

    Can I just say I totally relate to a LOT of these but this one, I thought that was ONLY ME ——AIÒ€ℒm so bad at laundry (see #22) that my kids know to look for socks in the basket in my room.

  • Jess says:

    oh this is so good (breathes sigh of relief). I am so enjoying your blog, working on your mission statement posts this morning. thanks!

  • […] I want people to read this, this and this article, and understand that reality and blog life aren’t the […]

  • I am glad to know that I am in great company!

  • love this glimpse of the *real* you. i’m up for the challenge!

  • Anne says:

    I love this…..especially #21 hehe … I think we are all like that. I love posts like this because then we can really get to know someone which is what helps us all relate to one another. I just might do something like this on my blog too.. if you don’t mind. I’m looking forward to the Relevant conference… Can’t wait!

  • Tracey says:

    This was so fun to read! Here are a few of mine:

    1. I once locked my baby and my keys in the car at Bed, Bath & Beyond and they called the Fire Department.
    2. I screamed and jumped during my epidural for an emergency c-section
    3. I giggle when my kids mispronounce words and then I donÒ€ℒt correct them because I want them to say it again
    4. The first thing I do when I put my kids down for a nap is eat some kind of candy or cookie I donÒ€ℒt want to share.
    5. I ordered business cards for Relevant and my blog only gets about 100 visitors a week

    • Kat says:

      Wow. #4 made me laugh out loud. I TOTALLY do the same thing! Just think…next week we can eat all the chocolate we want – whenever we want. Ahh….

  • Jessie V. says:

    Have been looking through your site wondering if I should add it to my RSS reader mainly with one question in mind: is she real? This answered my question, thank you! (I AM adding you, btw πŸ™‚

  • Cory says:

    thanks for this, kat. hysterical! i was laughing out loud because i was like “me too!” thanks for the candidness and being real in this virtual world. this was very refreshing for me as i can get so caught up in all the ways i don’t match up to everyone’s lovely lives in their blogs. i just was referred to your blog last week from a girlfriend of mine – i know it will be an encouraging and inspiring resource for me! thank you truly for the time and effort you put into it. and thanks for being real, girl.

  • Danielle says:

    Thank you so much for posting this…its incredibly refreshing to see that others struggle in the same areas I do. Thanks for the transparency.

  • Deana says:

    We are all sinners who can be or have been saved by grace and living by grace. I think if we really thought about it for every “fault” or “weakness” shared – God’s grace is there to help us grow and become stronger. I found that I would have had almost the same list, Kat, and it is encouraging to know others struggle with the same things I do. Let us each bring our list before the throne of grace and rest in the fact that each of our weaknesses can cause us to rely more on the great and awesome God we serve.

  • Amy says:

    Hi Kat,
    Loved this list. I was definatly having one of those annoyed at my kids days yesterday and I am a horrible housekeer with kids who leave toys everywhere so I couldn’t clean the foor sometimes, even if I wanted to. Just thought I would say hi because I saw you were going to Relevant too.

  • […] updates. Salamat for visiting!This post is inspired by Kat at Inspired to Action. She blogged about 25 things of which she’s not very proud.I don’t know about you,but I find it easier to write […]

  • Catherine says:

    I am insanely in love with all of these women…thank you thank you thank you. I’d write more but Im supposed to be working, or on the phone trying to be my financing done for a house, or following up with my sons teacher regarding his reading problem, or making an eye appointment bc I think my son inherited my lazy eye so my faulty genes means he cant read and will most likely go to prison even though I did baby sign and taught him french and piano….or a myriad of other things…hugs to you ALL!!!

  • Jess Bosgra says:

    Time to make a new list yet Kat? πŸ™‚

  • arcelia says:

    You are such a beautiful person to me, even with this transparent 25 things you shared. I see Christ in you, in your writing and when I met you a few weekends ago at the Moms heart conference. Thank you for sharing these and making me smile and thank you for encouraging Moms in the Lord. It is true with misery comes ministry and God has given you a ministry of reconciliation with a focus on mothers and children and you are being a great steward of what He has entrusted you. I am more than cheering you on, I’m praying for you sweet sister in Christ.

    p.s. if you read my blog, you’ll be skipping over a lot since there are a lot of Scriptures in it [lol] πŸ˜‰ (#8)

    • Kat says:

      Thanks so much for stopping by Arcelia and taking the time to encourage! I loved meeting you at MomHeart…you have a fire within you that is a wonderful light for Him!

  • Danita says:

    Love this post! just love it. ok, here are mine:
    1. I cleaned the sink in the one bathroom that my two young boys and I share for the first time this weekend. I have lived here for four months. You would be amazed at how one can use a sink with out ever touching the interior of the bowl…I only cleaned it because I was shamed into doing so when some Super Mom Blogger said she used Clorox wipes to keep up with her bathroom.

    2. I keep sugar out of our house only because I dont have the patience to deal with my kids when they are hyped up on kiddie crack.

    3. I bought a great used car last summer that I love and am so grateful to God for it. I faithfully demonstrate that gratitude with having never I mean NEVER washed that little green car. It will be a year soon.

    4. Laundry never gets folded at my house. We live out of the basket.

    5. My kids have has a combined total of 13 cavities…

  • Dawn says:

    I was just introduced to your blog by a few people and have been blessed by it already and this post was one of the ones that blessed me the most. I just can’t relate to women who ‘have it all together’ (or at least try hard to make me think they do), so I appreciate you ‘airing your dirty laundry’ in a sense – how refreshing! And how refreshing to not see you do these things, but then, by God’s grace, stop doing them. Thx for being real and for encouraging me to do the same. πŸ™‚

  • Nicole Jones says:

    Thanks for the honesty, I have to admit to numbers3,4,5,6,7(my windows I look in are on the freezer aisle), 10,12,13,14,15,17,18,19,20,22,23,24,25 and also I’d have to say I raise my voice to much, And I’m not as patient with my kids as I should be.
    It really feels good to put out there and be honest about it because as you said, we are never going to be perfect.