Focused Motherhood: Play Your Position

By June 9, 2010General

Humiliation can teach WONDERFUL life lessons.

I played soccer. Not well, but I played.

(No, that’s not me – Photo Credit)

After I had my second child I heard about a new women’s soccer league. I’d never played soccer before, but the idea of running around like a maniac, kicking people in the shins and stealing the ball away from others sounded like the perfect motherhood stress reliever.

I played defense and loved it.

One particular game, my teammate couldn’t keep up with the opponent she was defending. I often had to pick up her player when she fell behind.

Naively, I went to my coach and asked if he thought we should switch positions. I was a faster runner so I thought it was a no-brainer.

My coach didn’t see it the same way. He looked at me and said, “Well, you tend to chase after the ball instead of playing your position. Yes, she’s getting beaten sometimes, but I need someone there who knows their position and plays it.”


I sheepishly ran back onto the field.

It was humiliating, but taught me an incredible life lesson.


I’m an idea person. I love being creative. I love business and coming up with new ideas. I love blogging and music. I love running and sports. I love my church and helping people.

I love lots of things. But in this season of life, I’ve been assigned to play a specific position.

I am a mother. I could “chase the ball” and run after every exciting, impressive opportunity that comes my way.

Maybe I’d even be successful. But those things are secondary.

There are a lot of bloggers. There are a lot of entrepreneurs. There are a lot of runners.

I am the only one my children call Mommy.

I must be faithful. I must be focused. This my purpose. My position. I must play it well.

Leave a Comment



  • Avatar natalie says:

    I needed this today 🙂

  • Avatar Laura says:

    Well-played! Well-written. So true. Thank you.
    .-= Laura´s last blog ..Things I Love About My 11-Month-Old =-.

  • Avatar Leslie says:

    Still trying to get this whole focused motherhood thing…….I still want to focus too much on my HOUSEWORK, instead of my kids. I am a neatfreak and it tends to show……trying to let go of that area of my life.

  • Avatar Erica says:

    Amen! I’ve always known this, but recently come to the realization that my purpose in the here and now is my children. I’ve chased down other endeavors, but never felt quite as fulfilled by them as I have when I’m 100% mom. Thanks and I’m glad I’m not alone!
    .-= Erica´s last blog ..Next time, she won’t miss =-.

  • Avatar Reba says:

    This is great! I tend to “chase the ball” when I see my dear husband not doing things as quickly as I could do them. He is awesome, a hard worker, and does things thoroughly which is not my strong point. Yet, he doesn’t work as fast as me and it is such a challenge for me to not step-in and take over. I have before you see, and it always always is a disaster. It’s so disrespectful! I’m glad to have this visual story now to remind me to play my position when I am tempted to butt in. Thanks Kat.

    • Avatar Kat says:

      I love that you took the analogy and ran with it. It certainly applies well to our relationships with our husbands and others. Thanks for the reminder!

  • Avatar Natalie says:

    Thank you for the reminder. I am by nature a ball chaser, too. But I am learning to chase after a Person and let Him determine my course.

    • Avatar Kat says:

      “But I am learning to chase after a Person and let Him determine my course.” Well said!

  • Avatar Nina says:

    what a great perspective. this is applicable in so many areas of our life, huh? thank you

  • Avatar denise says:

    totally agree. well said.

  • Avatar Sheena says:

    Thank you. This is awesome.
    .-= Sheena´s last blog ..Menu Plan – Week of June 7 =-.

  • awesomeness!
    oh, and your description of yourself could totally describe me too!

    • Avatar Kat says:

      You mean “running around like a maniac, kicking people in the shins”? 😉 It was really fun!

  • Avatar LaDonna says:

    Good post. Thanks.
    .-= LaDonna´s last blog ..Modesty =-.

  • Avatar Chioma says:

    Wonderful post! I have a tattered and worn out post it on my computer that says “Eat the Frog!” I think I got that from my friend who read the book of the same name. It means that I should decide which ones, and put first things first and do it well. I am a mother.

  • Avatar Shawn says:

    Amen to that! I have cut many things out of my life for now because my children are young need me. Being with them is a gift to them and myself.
    I never want to look back on these years with regret.

    • Avatar Kat says:

      “Being with them is a gift to them and myself.
      I never want to look back on these years with regret.”

      So, true. I am amazed everytime one of my children turns a year older. I definitely want to seize each day. Well said.

  • Avatar Jennifer says:

    I really loved this post! I love how you took a lesson from soccer and made it into a BIG life lesson. It’s also been a major theme in my life since having children. While my children are young, I decided to be a stay at home mom for this reason. As a teacher, I felt like there was no way that I could give my students 100% and then come home and give my children 100%.
    Thanks for the inspiration.

  • Avatar Leslie says:

    How do you do though? I feel exhausted and stressed by the end of the day when I give total 100% to them…..focusing on them more throughout the day other than my own endeavers, just leaves me exhausted. I want to be a better mom, a more focused mom because I know my time is short with them, but I don’t think I can be…..

    • Avatar Kat says:

      Well, I don’t actually think we should give 100% to them. We can be focused without being consumed. I think kids need space – time to think, explore, discover and negotiate. I “try” to make sure my kids have quality time each day with me AND without me.

      It sounds selfish, but we as moms need to take care of our own needs – often even before those of our kids. (Needs, not wants…)

      That’s why I make sure I have my time in the morning. Then my kids have quiet time in the afternoon. And we do different things throughout the day that require varying levels of involvement from me.

      I think that when we’re started to feel tired or stressed, we need to do what we can to refresh before we dive in again with our kids.

      I think being a great mom has as much to do with knowing ourselves and taking good care of ourselves as it does with taking good care of our kids.

      I hope that helps! You CAN do it. It’s just a matter of figuring out what works best for you. It may look very different from what I do or anyone else does…

    • Avatar Leslie says:

      Thanks, Kat. That helps alot. I think I just need to plan more time into my day to actually just sit down and play with my kids. So many times I get so busy the day is over and I realize I havn’t played with them that day! How sad. 🙁 But that does clarify things a bit……I have started setting my alarm a few minutes earlier….not getting too much accomplished yet but at least I am getting up!

  • Avatar Joni says:

    This was just what I needed to hear today. I keep forgetting that I am the only mom my kids have and the only wife my husband has. They need to be the priority.

    Thanks for the powerful image.

  • Avatar Lessie says:

    I appreciate the encouragment to be mission oriented, to “play your position.” I am grateful for the small ways the Lord has shown me what my “position” is — but I still struggle to figure it out in general. Maybe not knowing for sure is part of his plan. And yet, focus achieves better results, doesn’t it. Maybe I just need to pray for clarity on this.

  • Avatar Katrina says:

    Ouch! A perfect kick in the shins (and the backside) for me today, Kat! I AM playing soccer this summer – and chasing all sorts of other balls and not engaging with my kids. Thanks for not pulling any kicks. 🙂

  • Avatar Andrea says:

    I LOVE this post!! So true!!!
    Being a mom is the BEST thing that has ever happened to me.
    It is my favorite “position” to play. 🙂

  • I really enjoyed this post. It is so easy to want to play other positions! I often forget that peace, joy AND success comes from playing my true position. That is where the satisfaction is. I appreciate your reminder 🙂
    .-= Stacy @ Delighting in the Days´s last blog ..Favorite Salad Nuts =-.

  • Avatar Leslie R says:

    I am glad to see this posted. I read it in RSS but when I went to see it on your blog, it wasn’t there. Unfortunately (or not), I can’t remember why I went to the blog. I think because it ended mid-sentence.
    I am at the point in life when a lot of my parenting in over. I have only one at home, and at 15, she doesn’t want much parenting. I am still working one getting her to set some goals for the summer.

  • […] June 13, 2010 Filed under: Mothering,The Internets — minnesotamom @ 8:05 am Play Your Position – Inspired to […]

  • Avatar holly says:

    oh my gosh. this post totally hits home for me!!! i have been a step mom for a long while now, but just became a “full time” mom 17 months ago. i’ve always been the type of person to overcommit and somehow i continued to make that work, even after my precious little one entered the world. but this year…it’s really caught up to me. i am totally over-stretched and the last several months have been spent trying to balance and prioritize things in my life. your post makes SO MUCH SENSE to me now. it’s really hard to say that things we feel are important, aren’t important ENOUGH. but that little boy sleeping right now…well, THAT is important enough, and everything else will go on without me. as always, thank you for the perspective.
    .-= holly´s last blog ..a scene from the beach =-.